


World To Come

by ursweetheartless



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Fluff, Guilt, Happy Ending, Implied Relationships, Kinda, M/M, Not Beta Read, Phone Sex, Pining, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Sex Toys, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Has A Heart, cannon adjacent, implied infidelity, pack as family, past angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:40:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 31,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23759248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ursweetheartless/pseuds/ursweetheartless
Summary: Since the moment they left, the moment Steve had turned his back and walked away from Tony, he’ddreamedabout this day. He’d imagined howgoodit would feel to tell them to fuck off and find some other patsy to clean up their messes because Tony wasdone.It would beglorious, it would make his alpha sing, because he was done with this bullshit, and he wasn’t going to put up with anymore. Theproblemwas, he couldn’t do it. Yes, they’d fought, and yeah, they’d cut each other real deep. They were still the only pack Tony had ever really had, and they were the only family he had left.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers (implied), James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Comments: 8
Kudos: 226





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I'm rusty, but I'm cleaning out the WIP folder. This is finished, P2 will be up when it's edited.
> 
> enjoy?

Build fires to keep the beacon flashing  
Where the earth lies flat  
Blood calls to blood as the hours draw down  
Invent my own family if it comes to that  
Hold them close, hold them near  
Tell them no one's ever going to hurt them here  
-[Hebrews 11:40, The Mountain Goats](https://youtu.be/oM-EbBfAidQ)

* * *

Since the moment they left, the moment Steve had turned his back and walked away from Tony, he’d _dreamed_ about this day. Since the moment Steve had left him to die on the ground in Siberia with a broken heart and broken armor, Tony had been running scenarios in his head. In every one of those fantasies, he’d turned Steve and his _rouge avengers_ away the second they’d inevitably turned up on his doorstep asking for help. He’d imagined how _good_ it would feel to tell them to fuck off and find some other patsy to clean up their messes because Tony was _done._

He had _every right_ to turn them away. He had every right not to let them back into his life, to stop bankrolling and resupplying a team that hadn’t ever really wanted him on board. Iron Man, sure; Tony Stark, not recommended.

It would be _glorious_ , it would make his alpha sing, because he was done with this bullshit, and he wasn’t going to put up with anymore.

The _problem_ was, he couldn’t do it. Yes, they’d fought, and yeah, they’d cut each other real deep. They were still the only pack Tony had ever really had, and they were the only family he had left.

He’d remodeled the tower for them, even if none of them had moved in. He’d built them an entire fucking compound, even if none of them had done more than crash there after missions. And now, he’d spend the past two years working almost non-stop on bringing them home, _all_ of them, and making them a team again.

Tony hadn’t wanted to be the pack Alpha, not even when they were first trying this out after New York. He’d kinda figured that Steve would just take that role, and Tony wasn’t interested in fighting him for it. But this, the pack and Tony stepping in as Alpha, was a condition of the pardons. The council wanted a united front, a good sound bite, and photo op to prove that the rogues were back under control. Tony hadn’t argued too much, but he wasn’t sure why the council thought he was the guy for the job.

That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try. He knew this might fuck everything up even more, but he honestly wanted it to work. He wanted his pack back, wanted his family safe, and if this was the only way to get that done, he would put in every effort to make that happen.

He’d still planned on yelling a bit, a little alpha posturing right at the beginning just to let them know who was in charge. He needed to make it clear that this was _it_ , there would be no third chances. The council had made that clear, yeah, but Tony wasn’t sure he’d survive another betrayal like that even without the shield to the chest.

All of his vindictive daydreams went out the window when the convoy arrived, and Tony could _feel_ to anxiety and fear coming off the rogues from clear across the driveway, through the closed doors. It wasn’t just Steve either, it was every one of them. And one of them was an omega sunk deep into distress.

He tried to remember which one of the new kids was an omega as he hurried across the echoing marble floor, regretting the decision to have them come in through the rather impressive formal lobby and not the underground parking level. It had seemed like a suitably formal show of power at the time, now it just seemed kind of petty.

Bruce was the only omega on the original team, but he was off-grid right now, helping out somewhere in Southeast Asia. He checked in once a week, and they both politely pretended Tony didn’t know exactly where he was at all times. Tony would have assumed he’d have noticed another omega during their clash at the airport, but he was coming up empty.

He took a deep breath before he opened the door, and by the time he stepped outside he was a picture of calm and poise. He had to be. He was the pack alpha, and he had to be in control of the situation. Or at least look like he was in control.

The rogues were gathered in a tight knot around one of the cars Tony had sent to retrieve them. Tony had wanted them to land at the compound, but the council had insisted they go through customs like everyone else, and physically sign the Accords before they were allowed on American soil again. They had flown into a military airstrip, maybe an hour away. The council had gotten their show of force, and Tony had gotten to stay out of it.

Steve was at the center of the group, standing tall even if he looked like death warmed over at the moment. Tony locked eyes with him across the driveway, suddenly sure that Steve was going to fight him on this like he had on everything else. And part of Tony wanted to give in. It would be so much _easier_ to let Steve be in charge, to let him make the decisions. He couldn’t do that though.

Steve said something to the rest of the group, too quiet for Tony to hear. Whatever it was, they broke ranks around him and gathered their things. Steve broke eye contact, bending down to pull Barnes to his feet beside him.

And everything shifted, like the angle of the earth’s orbit had changed. Some part of Tony’s lizard brain was screaming at him to turn tail and run because he hadn’t been in Steve’s physical presence since the Captain had left him for dead and he was _terrified_. The greater part of his mind let instinct take over, his alpha surging inside of him, because these people were his pack, and none of them were great right now but one of them was in _trouble._ Barnes was an omega — holy fuck, how had Tony not noticed that before? — and Tony was his pack alpha now. Tony had to _fix this_.

“Hi, guys.” He said, loud enough for everyone to hear, though he was still looking straight at Steve, and he was moving now. “Friday can help everyone settle back in, there are rooms set up for each of you, and you’ll get a proper orientation later.”

He didn’t wait for a response, just charged into the middle of the group and grabbed Barnes’ other arm because Steve was sagging under his weight. Neither one of them looked good, and Steve tensed like he was going to argue, but Tony cut him off.

“What do you need, Steve?” He asked firmly, just a touch of alpha voice coloring his words. “What does he need?”

Tony steered them towards one of the stiff couches that ringed the lobby as soon as they were inside, the need to assess the situation roaring in the back of his mind. Barnes’ eyes looked distant, a little glassy, and he curled heavily into Steve’s side with a wince as soon as they were seated. Tony sank down to get a good look at him, check him for injuries. Barnes very carefully didn’t look back, but the way his head was tilted showed off the long line of his neck.

It was a sign of submission, bearing his scent glands and the tender flesh of his neck, and it highlighted the mess of scar tissue. There was so much of it, a mess of repeated cuts along the edges of his glands, some faded to a grey-silver and others darker, more recent. This wasn’t a mating bite, or even an accident. This was deliberate and repeated, and Tony felt nauseous looking at it.

“Do you need medical attention? Either one of you?” Tony asked firmly, leaning in to check Barnes’ pupil response. He held his hand up, sliding it through the air, “Can you follow my finger please?”

Barnes flinched back from the display, and buried his face in the crook of Steve’s neck, instincts taking over and…

Oh. They were mates, then. That was… good actually. That was _great_. A mated pair brought stability to a pack, a calming influence, and Tony knew their pack needed all the help it could get at the moment. He knew the others would be looking to him, gauging their reception by how he treated the pair. Tony smiled and turned to look at Steve.

“We have a full medical facility set up across the courtyard if either of you needs attention. I can send someone up to your rooms if you think that would be less… traumatic?” Tony asked, carefully not looking back at Barnes, even as he slowly turned back toward Tony. No sudden movements, use Steve as a go-between. It would be better that way, for the moment.

Barnes shook his head, eyes fixed firmly somewhere halfway across the marble floor. Steve watched him carefully. Steve looked like he wanted to argue, but he didn’t. Hell, _Tony_ wanted to argue, because Barnes obviously wasn’t _well_ right now, but he didn’t want to overstep his bounds. They both needed to trust him, and Barnes needed his autonomy.

“Just need some sleep, is all.” Barnes rasped, like he’d been gargling with gravel and broken glass. It was a painful and pleasant sound all at once. “Neither one of us been sleeping too well lately. Worried about coming back here, to be honest.”

Barnes tried for a smile and looked up to meet Tony’s eyes.

“Doesn’t look like we needed to be.”

Tony’s alpha purred in his chest at that admission. He nodded, softening his smile.

“You don’t want a doctor to look over…” Tony trailed off, gesturing vaguely towards his own neck. Barnes went a little pale and ducked his head. Tony nodded.

“No, there’s…” Barnes started, rasping, and he paused to clear his throat. “A medic won’t do any good. They’ll heal up in a week or two. I was on some sort of cocktail before, hormones ’n stuff, but Hydra didn’t exactly give me the recipe. I’ll figure something out, once I’m rested up.” Tony didn’t want to leave it at that, but he supposed he probably should. They could talk later.

“Yeah, just relax. You guys are here now, and you’re pack. You’re _safe_. I know we didn’t part on the best of terms, but this is a new beginning. No one can touch you here, for now at least.” Tony said, still looking at Barnes more than Steve. “You’re all off active duty for a while, so all you need to do is rest and recuperate. Carol will go over all that stuff when you’re ready, but we’ve got it covered for now.”

They both looked like they were in dire need of a lot of things right then, but sleep was probably a good first step. Tony couldn’t quite tamp down the need to _help_ though, as much as he could, even if he needed to balance it with the need to give them space.

“Right, so, your room is right where you left it, Cap. I haven’t touched it, except to make up the bed fresh this morning. There's a room for Barnes right next door if he wants it. If not, we can make it into a studio or whatever, that side of the building gets great light and you’re gonna have some free time for a while now.” Tony climbed back to his feet while he talked, knees popping louder than he was comfortable with. He grimaced. “We’re going to set out a whole spread in the communal dining room down here, but I’ll get some food sent up when you’re awake. There’s some stuff in the kitchen on your floor, but not a lot. Groceries are coming in tomorrow, so we’ll get you all set up then. If you let Friday know tonight, she can add some stuff if you want.”

Steve was watching him, one arm still wrapped protectively around his mate, the other propping him up against the couch. He looked confused, and exhausted, but not as wary as before. That was progress.

“I’m sure the rooms are fine, Tony. Bucky can have it, or we’ll let you know if we need to switch things around.” Steve said, around a yawn. “If there isn’t anything else important, I’m going to get us upstairs if that’s okay?”

Tony nodded, and Steve pulled Barnes back to his feet beside him. Tony helped guide them to the elevator, though he didn’t touch Barnes this time, just hovered on his other side. He knew he should keep the touching to a minimum until they’d settled in. Barnes’ eyes were closed, and by the time the elevator door slid open, he looked like he was nodding off against Steve’s shoulder.

“And guys?” Tony added as he ushered them into the elevator, “Welcome home.”

Friday slid the door shut between them as soon as he finished, because his girl had a sense of dramatic tension and she knew how to help him make a dramatic exit. It was good. His instincts wanted to follow them upstairs, make sure they were clean and well-fed before they went to bed.

Instead, he headed down to the lab to work through his nervous energy.

* * *

Tony wasn’t sure what to do, once he’d gotten down to the lab. Pepper had politely but firmly put him on leave from SI when the council had announced their plan, and none of his more personal projects caught his attention for more than a few minutes at a time. There was only one problem his brain felt like working on, so that’s what he ended up doing.

He started where he always started, with research. That was how he solved problems now. Research, hypothesis, experiment, results, repeat.

First step, research. He did a few searches, read a few articles, a few dissertations, and made a long series of phone calls. Once it became clear that he was getting into that area between too late and too early for the U.S. he moved on to the other side of the world. By the time he had a satisfactory foundation to start building on, he was yawning into his now empty coffee cup.

He ordered a few things, left a few messages, made a few appointments, and sent out a few grant proposal requests to relevant people doing promising research. Then he headed out for some more coffee.

Tony found Steve in the communal kitchen, sitting at the island alone under the single pendant light. Steve was staring mournfully into a half-empty glass of water like it held the solution to all his problems but wasn’t keen to share. He almost turned around and left before Steve noticed him, but he steeled himself and walked in like he owned the place instead. He did own the place, after all, and if Steve needed someone, Tony was going to _be there_ this time. He was going to do this right.

Steve looked exhausted — like maybe he hadn’t even tried to go to sleep — and his eyes were puffy and red-rimmed. Tony bit back the snarky comment he wanted to make and clapped Steve on the shoulder as he walked past instead.

“How’s everyone settling in?” Tony asked as he fiddled with the coffee maker, starting up a fresh pot. Steve managed a sort of half-smile as he looked over.

“As good as can be expected, I guess. Everyone seems to be adjusting okay.” Steve said, “I think this was good for us, coming back. It’s been… a lot.” Steve paused then and considered something carefully for a long moment. Tony resisted the urge to fill the silence, waited as patiently as he could for Steve to say whatever he needed to say while the coffee maker heated behind him.

“Listen, Tony,” Steve said, carefully, “I never said I was sorry. Not to you, not in so many words. I had reasons to do what I did, but it was still a shitty thing to do. I know you worked hard to get us back, so that we could come home, and then you welcomed us back with open arms when you really didn’t have to.”

“So, I’m sorry Tony, I really am. It means a lot, that you’d let us back in, all of us, when you had no reason to. I just… Thanks, Tony. Really.”

Steve’s voice cracked a little at the end. Tony nodded and folded his arms in front of himself uncomfortably. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate the gratitude, he’d just never been very graceful at receiving it. Gratitude, or praise.

“It’s fine, you’re pack. You’re all pack, and you all belong here.” He said, without really thinking about it. It was just the objective truth. “If we hadn’t both fucked up, if I’d handled the accords differently, we could have done without… all of _this_.”

Tony waved a hand in front of him, in an all-encompassing sort of gesture. He was saved from following that statement up by the coffee maker, which pittered out a stream of fresh coffee into the pot. Tony pressed pause and stole the first cup, and Steve sighed heavily.

“I’m just… worried. I’m worried about Buck. He’s…” Steve trailed off, staring back at the glass of water in front of him. “Hydra really did a number on him. They hurt him real bad, Tony. They _took his glands_ , over and over, then they drugged him up with who knows what kind of chemical suppressants, for almost fifty years in a row. I don’t know if he’s ever going to be okay again, even if we’ve managed to… I dunno, deprogram him?”

Steve sounded hopeless, distraught, and even Tony _allergic-to-feelings_ Stark could feel the tension and anxiety. Steve really didn’t know what to do here. Tony nodded, taking a deep pull from the coffee cup.

“Look, he might not ever be the same guy he was, Steve. I’m not trying to be mean here, that’s just facts. He’s been through a lot, and that type of trauma _changes_ people. It sure as hell changed me, and I was only in Afghanistan for a few months. He’s been at Hydra’s mercy longer than I’ve been _alive._ ” Tony said, carefully. “What we have to do is help him figure out who he is _now._ I already have a few leads on helping him, medically at least, and he’s probably going to need some therapy on top of that. But he doesn’t have to do it alone, right? We’ll be here for him, whatever he needs.”

Tony turned back towards the coffee pot, doing Steve the courtesy of not watching him struggle not to cry. It was stressful, sure, but also oddly satisfying. Steve wouldn’t be this open if he didn’t feel comfortable here, and he wasn’t fighting Tony for control. He was asking for _help_ , sharing his problems. This was progress, and it gave Tony hope that this experiment might actually work out. Tony filled his mug up one more time before he turned around.

“We’ll figure it out. We always do, because we have to. Problem solving is kinda my thing, and I’m already on it.” Tony said. He clapped Steve on the shoulder again in passing, trying not to crowd him. He paused in the doorway. “Just… if there’s anything he needs, anything he wants, let him know that he can always ask me. Or Friday, she’s there for him too. It won’t be easy, but we can make it easier at least.”

Steve smiled, wet around the edges and looking like he might start crying again any second. Tony felt the warmth in his core, the comfort of pack, warring with the anxious twist of _feelings_. He smiled.

“Why don’t you go get some sleep, Cap? You look like you need it.” Tony added, “You won’t do him any good if you don’t take some time to take care of yourself.”

Tony didn’t _quite_ run back to the elevator, but it was a close thing.

* * *

He didn’t settle back into the lab, though he did try for a few hours. Focus kept slipping through his fingers, no matter how many projects he opened and flicked through. Eventually, he just gave up, his gaze fell to the clock, and he figured it was a respectful enough hour of the morning to check on his new packmates.

Well, he’d get to the rest of them eventually.

“Fri, honey, is new James awake yet?” Tony asked. He half hoped he wasn’t. Barnes needed all the sleep he could get, after all. Cap had looked like he’d missed a few nights on their way over, but Barnes had looked like he hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep in _years_.

Friday was silent for a moment.

“I believe Sargent Barnes is awake, but he does seem to be attempting sleep. He has been attempting to sleep since Captain Rogers left him last night, and I’m not sure he’s succeeded yet.”

Tony frowned.

“Let him know I’d like to speak with him, okay?” Tony said, “And ask him if he’s eaten anything yet.”

* * *

Tony arrived at Barnes’ door with an array of snacks so he had to twist awkwardly, juggling precariously balanced food and drink items to knock without dropping anything. He didn’t hear an obvious answer, no movement or greeting. Tony wrinkled his brow.

“Hey, Barnes?” Tony called quietly, sure that Friday would make sure Barnes heard him, even if he whispered. “Can I come in for a second? I come bearing gi~ifts” Tony sing-songed.

He waited a few seconds before Friday slid the door open, as soon as Barnes had given permission. The room inside was barren, identical to almost every other bedroom in the compound. It was dark inside, the lights off and the blinds pulled shut. The bed, where he’d expected to see Barnes, was empty and stripped to the frame. The mattress was stuck behind it on the floor, with every scrap of fabric in the room piled on top of it. It was a thin excuse for a nest and did nothing to conceal Barnes, who was watching him warily from the middle of it. Tony blinked once, slowly.

“You okay down there, Buckaroo? You look… cold.” Tony shuffled forwards, depositing the armful of provisions on top of the dresser carefully. “Did Capcicle not show you where the blankets were? You can ask Friday for stuff too, she can get you almost anything you need if you ask.”

“Stevie said Ms.Friday could get me things, yeah,” Barnes mumbled into the pillow in front of him. “Didn’t want to bother her though. Stevie was dead on his feet last night, so I worked with what I had. Told me to get some sleep, so I’ve been trying.” Barnes shifted, clearly uncomfortable. Tony was caught somewhere between concern and righteous indignation.

“Hey, Baby Girl? Is the good captain home right now?” Tony asked, an edge of _something_ creeping into his voice.

“No Boss, he’s currently on a run with Mr.Wilson. Shall I call him?” Friday answered.

Barnes flinched a bit at that, barely noticeable if Tony hadn’t already been watching him closely. That was… something. Maybe not something good. Tony didn’t know enough to say one way or the other, so he filed the detail away for later. Tony took a deep breath.

“No. Just tell him I want to have a chat with him when he gets back, okay?” Tony said, “Hey, did captain conscientious show you around a bit at least?”

Barnes nodded.

“Uh, well, I brought you some food, plenty of empty calories with some healthy options thrown in. I’d go for the shortbread cookies first if I were you. Sugar, carbs, butter, those little bastards have got it all. You can come down to the communal kitchen whenever you’re ready, but don’t push yourself.” Tony shifted as he spoke, fighting not to fidget, fighting to control the desire to go over there and snuggle up to Barnes. He didn’t smell quite as sour with distress anymore, but it was definitely still there. “I’ll grab you some more blankets, so we can get you nested up a little better, and probably a few more pillows too. We’ll see how you feel this evening, I can send up something more substantial if you’re still holed up by then.”

Barnes nodded again, carefully, like he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure how to fit the words together. Tony watched him while he waited. His hair was lank and greasy, he’d definitely need a shower soon. That was definitely something _Steve_ should take care of though. Maybe a bath would be better.

When it became clear that Barnes wasn’t going to say anything, Tony sighed.

“Right, well,” Tony said, as the silence stretched wide between them, “I’ll let you get back to lying there. If you need or want anything, just call, okay? And I’ll send up some blankets as soon as I can.”

“Thanks, Mr.Stark.” Barnes rasped, throat clearly still raw. Tony waved a hand dismissively.

“Nu uh, Freeze-Pop. You’re pack, and I’m not my dad. Call me Tony, please.”

Barnes gave him a tired, lopsided grin.

“Okay, Tony then.” Barnes said, “Thanks, for all of this.”

Tony’s alpha preened at the smile and the words. Every little victory felt amazing, lifted some small bit of the weight Tony carried. Tony paused at the door, one hand on the frame.

“Oh, right, when you’re ready to rejoin the living, I want to do a little testing. Nothing scary, We just need to get some baseline medical readings for you, since you’re enhanced and all. I dug up a few promising leads to fix your endocrine systems, and a good temporary fix to balance you out until then.” Tony said over his shoulder. “When you’re ready, no rush.”

* * *

As soon as he left, Tony started gathering every clean, soft blanket he could find in the compound. He packed them in a box and sent them up. He even added one of the ridiculous faux fur blankets that Pepper’s decorator had bought. They were the softest things Tony had ever felt, and Barnes needed soft right now.

* * *

Tony kept a careful distance for the next few days. It was tolerable because he was busy and Friday was keeping a close eye on Barnes for him the whole time. Tony wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle being the alpha of this — or _any_ — pack without her.

The itch was still there, to protect and coddle Barnes, but he didn’t want to interfere. He didn’t want to step on Steve’s toes, not this early. Barnes was still pack though, and he was in _distress_ , and Tony couldn’t quite squash the need to take care of him while he was vulnerable.

It took less than a week for Barnes to show up at the workshop door. He looked haunted and tired, a little thinner than Tony would like, but he looked like someone had breathed some life into him, which was better than before. He still looked cold though. Tony grabbed a blanket from the couch on his way over and draped it over Barnes’ shoulders like a cape as he welcomed him in.

“Hey, Buckaroo! It’s good to see you back amongst the living.” Tony beamed, ushering Barnes over to a rolly chair he’d pushed out by the back benches. “Here’s the plan for today. I want to get some scans first, just a standard baseline workup, your vitals and hormone levels, that sort of thing. The data will all stay here, we have special encryption for the medical servers. No one outside this room can access it without your express permission and a complex key.

“If you’re still doing okay after all that,” Tony continued, as Barnes perched on the chair. “I have a doctor I’d like to call. She’ll be on the screen, not in the room, but I want her to take a look at your glands. She’s done some promising research with gland therapies, and she can at least give us some advice while you’re healing.”

Even sitting, Barnes looked tense. He looked like he wanted to bolt but was holding himself back using the chair as leverage. Or maybe like he was ready to hurl the chair at someone to cover his escape, Tony wasn’t sure which. Being the only other person in the room, Tony would have to watch out for that.

Barnes sniffled at the edge of the blanket, tucked up near his throat, and rubbed it against his neck, where the glands were. Tony flinched.

“Damn, sorry, RoboCop. That blanket probably reeks, huh?” Tony turned towards the door but didn’t pause, “I don’t wash the ones down here that often, and sometimes I crash on the couch. Usually, no one’s down here but me, sometimes the kids when they’re up. I can grab you a clean one. Just give me a sec to-“

“No!” Barnes said, and it was the loudest Tony had ever heard him speak. Tony froze and turned around to see him blushing, looking at the floor. Obviously, he hadn’t really meant to yell like that. “I mean, it’s fine. It’s a nice blanket, real soft, and it’s not a _bad_ smell. It’s fine, really, _honest_.”

Barnes was clutching the blanket around him like a lifeline, like Tony was going to steal something precious. Tony just nodded and let it go.

Barnes sat quietly through the scans Friday could do on her own, and Tony hovered around, just out of range. When it came to the closeup stuff, like checking his pupil response and the cheek swab, Tony tried to talk through it. Barnes had dropped the blanket a bit since they started though, so Tony got a good close look at Barnes’ glands. The scarring around the outside ranged from the slight silver sheen of ancient, long healed wounds, to an angry pink that seemed fresher than Tony wanted to think about.

They made him illogically _mad_. No, actually, that was entirely logical. Hydra had cut Barnes open and taken his glands out, over and over. Even weighed against everything else Hydra had done to Barnes, that seemed pretty shitty. All Tony wanted to do was wrap Barnes up into a blanket burrito, warm and safe, and fly off to crush what remained of Hydra himself. Yeah, the active-duty Avengers had been working on that since SHIELD fell, but it seemed more _personal_ now.

Tony settled for gently rubbing his thumbs on the sides of Barnes’ neck, where the glands spread out under the skin. That would stimulate blood flow to the area, which would supposedly help them heal, but it also seemed like it should be soothing. Barnes shut his eyes and relaxed into it, which was a good sign.

Tony stayed there, hovering behind Barnes with his hands on his bare skin, throughout the entire video call with the doctor. Tony had found her during his research binge that first night. She was doing promising explorations into cellular regeneration in endocrine systems, and her practice specialized in repairing glandular damage. She was also an omega, a fact that Tony wouldn’t have guessed if he hadn’t read it in her bio. Tony made a note to double the promised grant money because she did a very impressive job of not reacting to Barnes’ scars.

Still, the moment Barnes started to tense up and shift uncomfortably in his chair, Tony pulled the blanket back up over Barnes’ shoulders.

“10 more minutes, doc. We’re on a schedule here.” Tony cut in. She rolled her eyes, but Barnes relaxed a bit, so Tony counted it as a win.

“Alright, from what I’ve seen, this isn’t going to be simple or quick, but it is manageable. The damage was extensive, obviously, but it’s healing. I can’t do much more evaluation without actually being there with you, but I’d say the outlook is good.” She said, “I’m writing you a prescription for a topical treatment that could help open the pathways around the glands. That’s what we’re most concerned about usually, especially with damage like this. The places where the glands connect to the rest of your system might be narrowed if there’s internal scarring.”

“Okay, great. We don’t have a pharmacy out here, but we do have a medical suite that can compound pretty much anything. We’ll figure it out if you just send it over.” Tony said firmly, smoothing the edges of the blanket over the front of Barnes’ shoulders and down his chest. Barnes was so _warm_. He made an internal note to ask Steve to sit in on the next session when he caught the beginnings of a purr in his chest. That seemed like an inappropriate reaction, but one that Tony couldn’t quite help.

The moment the feed was cut, Tony took a step back.

“Hey Fri, is Steve back in his rooms yet?” Tony asked.

“No Boss, but I can call him.” She answered.

Tony looked to Barnes, who seemed pale but fairly well put together. Better, now that the screens were gone. Barnes shook his head slowly at the clear question.

“No, Baby Girl. Thanks for the offer though.” Tony clapped Barnes on the shoulder, and let his hand linger on Barnes a bit longer than he usually did with Steve. “I’ve got some things to get done today, but feel free to hang out as long as you’d like, Buckaroo.”

Tony gave in to the sudden urge to push a few strands of Barnes’ hair back behind his ear with an indulgent smile before he hightailed it back to his work station. He pulled up the first project he saw, a project R&D had asked for his input on months ago, and threw it into the air in front of him. It wasn’t particularly important, or time-sensitive, but it gave him something to focus on. It was something to do with his hands, while he watched Barnes relax in his peripheral vision. He was still sitting there, right where Tony had left him, holding the blanket tightly around himself.

“Not to be bossy, Tasty Freeze, but you’re making my back hurt just looking at you,” Tony said, without actually turning to look in Barnes’ direction. “I have a couch you can take over, it’s way comfier than the chair if you wanna stick around. And stick around for as long as you want.”

Tony flipped a piece of the hologram in front of him over in his hand, not quite recognizing it.

“Unless you _like_ the rolly chair I guess, I’m not here to judge. You can keep the rolly chair if you want. I have more if you wanna take it back upstairs with you. We’ve gotta start decorating that room sometime or it’s like you’re living in a hotel.”

Tony rambled on, talking in Barnes’ direction and chatting with Friday, just generally keeping a low-grade wall of noise going. Barnes didn’t make it much longer before he moved silently to the couch, where he settled in. When Tony turned to check on him a few hours later — which, ok, oops, he’d gotten caught up in the project and lost track of time, but he did make a breakthrough, so that was something, right? — Barnes was asleep. He had the blanket pulled up to his chin, one leg curled forwards and the other sticking out the bottom. The blanket obviously wasn’t meant for fully grown super soldiers.

Tony made a mental note to buy bigger blankets. The thought made him oddly happy.

* * *

After that, Barnes disappeared for a while. Well, he didn’t really disappear. _Team Cap_ were confined to the compound for the foreseeable future, a probationary period after their return, and Barnes hadn’t _left_. He just wasn’t in any of the places Tony was.

It was disappointing, but not surprising. Barnes needed to spend time with Steve, right? Tony wanted their relationship to work out, to stay strong. Barnes’ health and emotional wellbeing were more important than Tony’s alpha need to take care of him. Steve was taking care of him. He knew Friday would let him know if any of them needed anything.

Still, it was nice when Peter showed up at the end of the week, not his normal weekend at the compound, but a special visit. He _had_ to call Barnes down to the lab then because Peter had something for him. Peter had worked with someone in Barnes’ situation before. Well, it wasn’t exactly the same, but it was similar enough. Probably. Either way, Peter had been working the whole week since their first examination to put together some patches that would help balance out Barnes’ hormones. They wouldn’t fix him, but they’d help stabilize him. They’d make him _feel_ better.

Barnes was smiling when he arrived, all wrapped up in a hoodie that looked soft and a little too big on him. He faltered just a step when he saw Peter. Yeah, Peter was intense, bouncing in place and smiling widely as he told Tony about the project he was working on at his _other_ internship, but Barnes schooled himself quickly.

“Hey Buckaroo!” Tony said with a smile and threw his arms open wide for a hug. He was expecting Barnes to roll his eyes, and shrug it off with a grin. Instead, Barnes melted into the hug with a soft sort of sigh. He breathed in, a single hitched breath, and all the tension bled out of him.

Tony held him for a moment, rubbing soft circles on Barnes’ back, then he pulled back enough that Barnes could see Peter again. He left one hand around his back though, giving them a point of contact, and giving Tony a gauge on how Barnes was feeling.

“This is Peter. He’s one of my interns, but he’s got school during the week and I’m out here most of the time now, so we don’t get much time to talk shop and all that. He’s really very smart. He’s also pack.”

Peter smiled brightly, in the disarming sort of way he’d absolutely mastered without trying, and stuck out a hand.

“Hi, Mr.Barnes. I’m super glad you guys made it back! I think everyone missed you guys more than they’ll let on.” Peter said, bright and cheery, “And I brought you something. Mr.Stark sent me some of the data from your scans, it was all anonymized and secure don’t worry, so I ran them through some of the equipment at the labs. I’m not a doctor or anything, obviously, and I can’t predict when you’ll be really healthy again on your own, but we can at least help balance out your hormone levels until your system can pick up the slack.”

Peter dug around in his backpack for a moment and came up with a plastic box that he held out for Barnes to take. Barnes blinked at him for a moment, confused, before he took it. Peter didn’t acknowledge the pause at all.

“So, if you open that up, it’s all full of patches. We may have to adjust things a little, but it’ll be a good start. So go ahead and open it, please.” Peter chirped, and Bucky did as he was told, fumbling with them for a moment before he pulled out a paper-wrapped patch. They looked vaguely like the gauze pads from the first aid kit. “Great, so, they’re all wrapped up, so they’re sterile, but it's just paper so they’ll lose strength over time if you leave them out of the box. The doses are pretty low, for now, so you can stack them, and we can figure out what dosage works the best for you. I know you’re enhanced, like Captain Rogers, so we’re not sure how fast you’ll burn through it, but it’s a start.”

Peter talked fast, clearly excited, and he pulled another patch out of the box in Barnes’ hand, holding it up.

“There’s a number here, see it? That’s the dosage in milligrams. You just tear the thing open,” Peter pulled the paper apart, and held up the square of pale moleskin in the air, on a plastic backing, “Then, you peel it off, it’s sticky on one side so it’ll stay stuck to your skin. You wanna put them on your neck usually, that’s the best place, right about-” Peter put his hand out, and Barnes flinched back just a little, leaning more heavily into Tony. Peter changed course seamlessly, tilting his head to bare his own neck instead. “Right about here.”

Peter slid his fingers on the side of his neck, right over his own glands. Tony smelled the familiar scent of Peter, of _pack_ , but he knew it wasn’t the same for Barnes. Not yet. Tony could also smell Barnes from this close, still nervous. He knew his own scent would be rising, to soothe his packmate, their new omega. It was embarrassing but probably fine.

“Don’t go too far up or down,” Peter demonstrated by sliding his fingers, “If you have trouble with your neck, because of the scars, that’s fine. You can go for your inner thigh, or your wrist, probably in that order, as close to the surface artery as you can get. It absorbs best on the neck though, if you can manage it. They’ll start to work in a few minutes, but they’re timed-release so the longer you can keep them on the better.” Peter rubbed his own neck thoughtfully, over the glands, “You can try putting them on both sides too, if it’s an issue, or alternating as you apply them. Since you only have really centralized scarring, that might be enough to make it work.”

Peter watched Barnes carefully for a moment, clearly working through the problem, before he suddenly brightened, and exploded into motion again, darting back towards his bag sitting by the bench.

“Oh right, that’s the other thing,” Peter exclaimed, and Barnes tensed at the sudden movement. He flinched into Tony though, so it wasn’t all bad. Tony rubbed slow circles on his lower back. He felt guilty for enjoying the contact right away, but he kept it up anyway. Barnes needed all the comfortable human contact he could get.

Peter came up with a glass jar, obviously homemade, this one with no label.

“I’ve got something for the scars. I know they’re probably right and itchy, while they’re healing, and Wade says this stuff really helps with it.” Tony rolled his eyes but didn’t comment. Peter and Wade was a conversation they’d had before, and it wasn’t an argument he was going to win today. At least Wade was finally good for something besides heart attacks and property damage though. Peter didn’t even notice the pause.

“It’s unscented, like not just no scent added but it literally doesn’t smell like anything, because that can be overwhelming when you’re having trouble with your hormone levels. It won’t make the scars disappear or anything, but it will help them soften up and fade a bit. Actually, with your healing factor, they might just go away. Maybe, since you’re not putting them back all the time.” Peter said brightly.

Bucky just took the jar, holding it next to the patches with the same blank, dazed look on his face. Peter watched for a long moment, then stepped to the side.

“Ok then, Mr.Barnes, that should hold you over for the week. If you’re running out more quickly, give me a call. I can probably have some more ready for you if we can figure out a way to get them out here from the city.” Peter said, side-eyeing Tony hard. And yeah, Tony would _absolutely_ fly down to the city to pick up more patches if Barnes needed them. He wasn’t going to say that out loud, but Peter could probably tell by the look on his face. Peter nodded. “Right, so, just remember, neck first, right on the glands, then inner thigh, wrist as a last resort, you can cover both sides. And if you’re stacking too many, or you can’t feel any change, we’ll try upping the dose. I can bring some more delicate equipment out here if we need it, and get some more accurate readings.”

Peter stepped back, edging towards his bag. There wasn’t any fear on his face, or even much anxiety, just the desire to give Barnes more space. It was adorable, and Tony couldn’t help but smile. Barnes watched the whole thing carefully, still holding the patches and the jar in front of him.

“This seems like an awful lot of work. For you I mean.” Barnes said, quiet and small, “I appreciate it, really, but you don’t have to do this for me. I’ve been fine so far, I’ll keep surviving.”

Peter swung his backpack up and shook his head.

“No, I know I don’t have to, and I know you’ll survive.” Peter said carefully, “But you’re pack now, Mr.Barnes. Tony brought you in, and you’re pack, so I’m going to try and help where I can. Because that’s what a pack does. If there’s something I can do to help, something I _know_ I can do to make your life better, I’m going to do it. I _want_ to do it.”

Barnes didn’t have anything to say to that, so Peter ducked his head quickly and headed out of the lab. He popped his head back in before the elevator had even arrived.

“I almost forgot! I don’t know what your, uh, your heat cycle is usually like, but having the patches? It might, uh, speed up the cycle a bit. A week or two out, maybe, if the patches work out. Just... I guess just monitor yourself. Something to think about.”

Tony frowned, still rubbing slow circles on the bottom of Barnes’ back.

“That’s a good question actually. How have your heats been? How long is the cycle usually?” Tony asked, staring off towards the far wall while he thought. “I’m going to have to add that to the file I guess. We’ll need to plan for that, get everything ready.”

Barnes flushed, and the color in his cheeks was gorgeous.

“I, uh,” Barnes mumbled, ducking his head, “I haven’t had a heat in years. At least, I don’t remember having one. Hydra forced me through one or two, in the beginning, and I went through a few out in the field, but mostly I just... didn’t. Without the glands, I mean, I can’t exactly go into heat without the hormones.”

Barnes stared at the floor through the entire confession, voice flat. Tony didn’t notice he was tightening his hold until Barnes was breathing against his neck, head ducked awkwardly against the side of Tony’s throat where Tony’s other hand was twined into his hair. It worked though, because Barnes relaxed, nuzzling against Tony’s scent gland. He obviously didn’t mind much either, because he stayed there when Tony pulled his hand back like he’d been burned.

“Okay, well, that sucks.” Tony said, “I’m sorry you had to go through that, Barnes. I’m sorry about _everything_ you just said. I’m going to do everything I can to make sure things are better the next time around, but that’s such a low bar at this point that it’s not anywhere close to funny.”

Barnes didn’t say anything. He let out a wet and ragged exhale against Tony’s neck. The sensation did absolutely nothing for Tony’s self-control. He patted Barnes comfortingly.

“We’ll get you through this, Barnes. This, and then whatever the next thing is. And all the things after that. We’ll take care of you, I promise.” Tony said quietly, into the bony edge of Barnes’ shoulder as it shook. He couldn’t feel tears where Barnes’ face pressed against his neck, but he could feel the desperation in the line of Barnes’ spine, and smell it in the sour edge to his scent. Tony rocked him gently, running on instinct.

“Anything you need, Friday can get it for you. Or she can get me, or Steve, or someone else. Whatever it is. She can order you things, she can call Pete, she can send for someone to help. Just let her know. Or let me know. Whatever you want.” Tony knew he was rambling to fill up the silence, but it seemed to help so he just went with it. Eventually, Barnes relaxed, slumping against him, shoulders still. Tony smiled crookedly.

“James.” Barnes mumbled it into Tony’s neck, sounding wet. He leaned back, and Tony couldn’t tell if he’d been crying or not. “Call me James please, or Bucky. S’only fair, right?” Bucky returned his smile, cautious and almost shy. Tony nodded.

“I can absolutely do that,” Tony said and pushed a lock of hair back behind Barnes’, no Bucky’s ear.

They stayed like that, standing close, with Bucky pressed into his side, until Steve showed up. He looked concerned as he stepped out of the elevator, but he relaxed visibly when he saw Tony holding Bucky close. That made Tony warm, it made his alpha purr. Steve _trusted_ him again. He wasn’t fucking this up. Things might not be perfect, but they were a pack again.

Steve watched them from the hallway for a moment, expression soft, before he pushed through the door.

“Hey Buck, wanna grab some lunch? I was thinking of making sandwiches upstairs, and you could definitely stand to put on a few pounds.” Steve said. Bucky nodded and looked back to Tony for a moment before he gathered Peter’s gifts back up into his hands and let Steve lead the way back upstairs. Bucky paused in the doorway and looked back over his shoulder.

“Thanks Tony.” Bucky said it quietly, with a small smile. Tony just beamed back.

“Any time, Freeze Pop.” And he meant it.

Watching them leave was fine, it was good. _Pleasant_. That didn’t mean Tony hadn’t wanted to hold on. He knew Steve was the better choice for this. He knew Bucky needed his mate right now, while he was hurting.

That didn’t stop the little jealous pinch as they stepped into the elevator. Maybe he wasn’t cut out for this after all. Maybe he should recuse himself, and hand the pack over to Rhodey. He knew he wasn’t going to do that, that he _couldn’t_. That he didn’t actually want to.

He just wanted to comfort Bucky more. He wanted to support his pack, and he wanted to heal them in every way that he could. That was all it was, all it could be, but that was enough for now.

* * *

“Hey, Boss?” Friday said, breaking Tony’s trance of concentration. He didn’t have any outside windows in the lab here, but he could tell from the rumbling in his stomach and the gummy feeling when he blinked that it was probably morning by now. That meant it was a decent time to be awake again, which was great. He could go grab some coffee without the _looks_. “I believe Sergeant Barnes is suffering from a nightmare, and Captain Rogers has already left for his morning run. He probably won’t be back for an hour, at least.”

Tony considered having her call Sam instead, because Tony wasn’t good at emotions and stuff, and he was also coming off of a night with absolutely no sleep. He probably shouldn’t go up there himself.

He did it anyway. He took a detour to his kitchen, to grab the last of the croissants Pepper had brought out from the city a few days ago. He was waiting there, water already boiling on the stove behind him, and Steve’s weird little pour-over coffee maker set up on the counter when Bucky stumbled out into the kitchen.

He looked pale, a little shaky, and more than a little scared. Tony didn’t think, just pulled him into a hug, tucking his head under Bucky’s chin for a long moment before he pulled him over to one of the stools at the breakfast bar.

“Hey Buckaroo! I’ve got coffee going, and I brought some tasty snacks. Lots of buttery rich empty carbs.” He put two croissants onto a little plate and slid them over in front of Bucky while he finished making the coffee. Bucky stared at the pastries, eyes a little glassy. “Friday said you were having a nightmare. Wanna talk about it?” Tony asked, as lightly as he could. Bucky just kept staring at the pastries. He picked one up, turned it over in his hands, delicately like he might crush it. That was fair. Tony made two mugs of coffee and slid one over to Bucky before he spoke.

“I have nightmares too, sometimes. A lot of times actually. Yesterday night, it was a battlefield. I was there, and so was everyone else, all of you, the whole pack. You were all dead, just scattered around me, and there was nothing I could do but keep moving. I don’t know how, don’t know why, but there was nothing I could do, and it was all my fault.”

Tony hated that nightmare the most, lately, and he hated that his voice cracked when he talked about it. When he looked up, Bucky was tearing pieces off of the croissant. He popped one of them in his mouth while he stared down at the others. Tony just waited.

“I really only dream about one thing,” Bucky said, tentative and quiet, still staring down at the table, past his hands, “It’s a mission. Could be any of them, could be something my brain made up, I don’t remember enough of them to tell, but I’m watching myself move. I’m watching myself from inside myself, but I don’t have any control. I just watch myself kill, just screaming at myself to stop but I’m not making a sound, I-”

Bucky sounded wrecked as he cut himself off. Tony waited a moment, making sure Bucky wasn’t going to pick it back up before he crossed over to carefully drape himself over Bucky’s back. Bucky twisted in his hold, leaning into the hug and pressing his face into Tony’s shoulder, right below his neck.

This time, Tony felt the tears. He mumbled soothing nonsense into Bucky’s hair and rubbed circles on his back. Tony wanted to say that it wasn’t his fault, that it was Hydra who did those things. He knew Steve had already said that enough for everyone though, and it obviously hadn’t helped much. Instead, he just rocked them quietly until Bucky was done crying. He didn’t let go when Bucky was done, content to just stay like that for as long as Bucky was content to be held.

They were still standing there when Steve came home, looking rumpled and flushed from his run. Bucky didn’t look like he’d been bawling his eyes out when he pulled back, but he didn’t look great either.

“Nightmare?” Steve asked, concerned but not overly so, like it was a conversation they had often. They both nodded. Steve nodded back. “Have you eaten anything?”

Bucky held up the remains of the croissant he’d mauled, and Steve looked unimpressed with it.

“Yeah, you ruined that pastry, but you didn’t really eat it, did you. I’m making you breakfast. Tony? Breakfast?” Steve asked, already opening the fridge. Tony shook his head. He wanted to stay, wanted to make sure Bucky was well fed and tuck him back into bed. That wasn’t his job though. He was Alpha, but he wasn’t _mate_. Steve could and would handle it better, and Tony had to trust him to do that.

“No, I’ve got stuff to get back to, meetings and things. I’ll see you both later though, have a good breakfast.” He smiled and gave in to the urge to tousle Bucky’s hair on the way out.

* * *

Tony hadn’t been lying, he did have an appointment. He _was_ stretching the truth because he had more than a few hours to kill beforehand. He spent them moping around the lab and pretending to work on balancing the new rear stabilizing repulsors on the Iron Man boots. Just because he was mostly a consultant right now didn’t mean he’d never get to use them. Hell, he wasn’t above taking the suit for a spin when he needed to get back to the city fast. Or when he needed to clear his head.

He was more than ready when Friday brought Bruce up on the screen. She didn’t even ask first anymore, just patched him through whenever he called. Tony smiled wide and waved away the holograms hanging in the air all around him without bothering to save anything. He hadn’t really gotten anything useful done.

“Brucie Bear!” Tony didn’t quite yell, as he threw his arms out wide. Bruce looked tired — it was somewhere past midnight out there — but he looked happy. “How’re things out there in the wasteland? Ready to come back to civilization yet?”

They played a careful game during these calls. Both of them pretended Bruce was hidden out there, that Tony didn’t know exactly where he was at all times. That Tony couldn’t get in a suit and fly out there in less than 12 hours if he needed to. Maybe a lot less, if he really pushed it. Bruce shook his head, but he was still smiling.

“It’s been busy. We relocated a few days ago, and we’re still working on getting the water filtration set up. The rig is great, but it’s also complicated, and we may have misplaced a few pieces. I’ll have to look into ordering some more.” Bruce fidgeted a bit, and cast a glance to the side, somewhere off-screen. “This village is in a bad way, I don’t think any of the aid money made it out this far. It’s heartbreaking, but it’s also just how life is out here sometimes, I guess. I think we might stay put for a while this time.”

Bruce leaned back in his chair and ran a hand through his hair.

“What about you? Are you sure everything’s fine? You know, with the team and all. The compound’s big, but not _that_ big.”

Tony pulled over a stool and perched on it, bracing his hands in front of him on the benchtop.

“Everyone is settled in now. It’s… it’s easier than I thought it would be, having them back. It’s kinda nice actually. We’re a pack again, with a few new members. I feel whole again.” Tony paused, looking down and then back, theatrical puppy dog eyes shimmering, “well, almost whole. There’ll always be a hole in my heart when you’re gone, Brucie Bear.”

Bruce laughed at that, and it was a great sound. Yeah, Tony missed him, and he would always take Bruce back if he wanted to come home. Bruce was smart, and having someone around who was smart enough they could leave Tony in the dust when they wanted to was amazing. Tony wouldn’t ask Bruce to come back though. Bruce looked happy there, doing what he could to help, and Tony would never take that away from him.

“Barton didn’t make it back yet, he’s spending some time with his family. I know he’ll come back if we need him, but I don’t know if he’ll ever join the pack again. Without him, and without SHIELD, I don’t know if Nat will stay, but she’s here for now. The council promised the pardons would hold up if they left, they just couldn’t be ‘ _Avengers_ ’ anymore, whatever that means. She’d also come back if we needed her. Maybe.” Tony shrugged a little, a helpless sort of motion, “the new guys are settling in too. I don’t see much of them, they keep to themselves, but Friday says they’re settling in okay. I don’t know when Carol will clear them for fieldwork, or if they even want that, but they’re here now, so that’s something I guess.”

Bruce raised an eyebrow.

“What about Rogers and his buddy?” Bruce asked, feigning nonchalance and doing it badly, “have they been trouble? Because I can come back if you need me to, Tony. Just say the word, and I’ll be there. Well, say the word and send a jet I guess, or it’ll take a long time.”

Tony waved him off, even if the offer always made him warm and gooey inside. He leaned forwards on his elbows, dropping his voice like they were telling secrets.

“No, Steve’s been good actually. We worked some things out, we actually _talked_ about it like grown-ups. He hasn’t tried to challenge me or anything. I think he knows how hard it is now, managing a pack like this. I mean, a domestic pack isn’t a cakewalk, I’m sure, but a pack like _ours_? It takes a lot. I’d never manage it without Friday. I’m doing my best though, and I think we might be able to make it.” Tony smiled softly at the screen.

“What about Barnes, then? Is he behaving?” Bruce asked, narrowing in on the one point Tony had avoided. Bruce was _sharp_ , there wasn’t really a point in trying to get around it. Tony sighed heavily, and Bruce looked a little green at the noise.

“Barnes is great. He’s an omega, which was kind of a surprise. I thought I would have noticed that, but maybe fighting for my life narrowed my perspective a little bit there.” Tony said, his smile looking a bit thin at the edges. “Hydra really did a number on him, you know? They fucked him up _bad_ , but I’m trying everything I can to fix him. Pete’s been helping him out with hormone stuff, and I’ve had a doctor look at him. I think he’s adjusting, but it’s gonna take time. He’s warming up to me, slowly. He’s said entire sentences.”

Bruce _beamed_ at him.

“And you thought you weren’t going to be a good pack alpha,” Bruce said around a wide smile. “Just relax, Tony. You’re doing amazing. They’re lucky to have you. How’s Pete by the way, this is the first week you haven’t mentioned him, except in passing.”

Tony knew what Bruce was doing, changing the subject, but he went along with it anyway.

“Pete’s been good. He’s picking his capstone project soon, he’s going to graduate early, even with both internships and the hero stuff. He works too hard, but he’ll be off to grad school soon.”

Once the subject shifted to lighter topics, talking was easy, and Tony definitely lost track of time. He blinked when Friday broke in, carefully.

“Boss, Sargent Barnes is asking to come by. I believe he’s having some trouble with the arm.” She said, “Do you have time to fix him, or shall I tell him to wait until the morning.”

Tony sat up straight and looked towards the elevator. There wasn’t anyone there yet, of course.

“No, if he’s having problems I’ll take care of him right away.” Tony said, “Is he in pain? Did he break it, or is it a malfunction? Pull up the schematics Shuri sent please, Friday, I may need them if something’s broken.”

He saw Bruce shift out of the corner of his eye, trying to suppress a smile. Tony sent a glare his way that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Yeah, you’re doing a good job, Tony. Your problem wasn’t ever that you didn’t care enough.” Bruce said, grinning widely now. Tony stuck out his tongue.

“Yeah, yeah, no commentary from the peanut gallery there. I swear, no respect. You’re a member of this pack, Brucie, and that makes me your alpha, Sugar Bear.” Tony said, eyes flicking back to the elevator as it arrived, and Bucky stepped out. He didn’t look _hurt_ , but he did look a little sheepish. Tony turned towards him. “Come on in, Buckaroo, we were just finishing up. You remember Bruce, right?”

Bucky crossed the lab hesitantly and stopped by Tony’s elbow. He was wearing another big, soft hoodie, and his hands were stuck in the front pocket as he curled in on himself. He nodded in Bruce’s direction but stayed quiet.

“Hi, James!” Bruce said, “I hope you guys are settling in okay.” Bucky nodded again. Tony stuck out an arm and pulled Bucky into a one harmed half hug. It seemed to relax him a little.

“See, Brucie? We’ve got a new omega in the pack now, and he doesn’t sass me. I don’t even _need_ you anymore.” Tony said, teasing, with an arm around Bucky’s waist.

“Right, yeah, we’ll see how long he puts up with that madhouse.” Bruce said, rolling his eyes, “Barnes, feel free to come down and visit if you need some time away from _them_. Just call.” Bruce’s tone was teasing, but Tony still squawked indignantly.

“Lies and slander! Don’t listen to him, Winter Wonderland, he’s just bitter and old. He doesn’t know how to have fun.” Tony said, then he looked back at Bruce. “I suppose I should let you go, so you can get back to saving the world. Have a good night, Brucie Bear! Go get some sleep.”

“Yeah, have a good day, Tony,” Bruce said, warm and safe. Tony really did miss him. Friday cut the feed, and the holoscreen dropped from the air. Tony turned to Bucky, who he was still holding close. He dropped his arm as casually as he could and cleared his throat.

“Alright, Sorry Buckaroo. We get a little caught up sometimes. Let’s take a look at that arm, huh?” Tony stood up, and tugged Bucky after him, crossing to one of the cleaner benches. He tapped a stool and turned around. “Have a seat, and tell me what’s bothering you.”

Bucky blinked at him, slow and confused for a moment, but he sat. He stayed like that for a long moment, just staring at the floor, before he took off the hoodie. He was wearing an undershirt underneath it, sleeveless and soft. The scars on his shoulder were faded and silver with age, but thick around the seam between flesh and metal. Tony wanted to slide his hand along them, but he didn’t. Instead, he pulled up a chair and waited.

“It’s, uh…” Bucky started, then stumbled, and started again, “It doesn’t hurt, not really. I think something just got caught. I was trying to spar with Sam, and he caught my arm weird when he dodged. It’s just some feedback, it’s not bad, just… weird.” Bucky said. He looked up at Tony through his lashes, like he was trying desperately to look smaller than he was. It was adorable, even if he still looked tall and broad even stooped on his seat. “Steve told me I should come down and have you look at it, but I swear it’s not that bad. Might go away on its own. If you’re _busy,_ I can deal with it.”

Tony laid a hand over Bucky’s metal wrist, which seemed somehow less intimate, and leaned a little closer.

“I got nothing but time, Buckaroo. Is it localized to a particular part of the arm? Anywhere you want me to start?” Tony said, as he pulled up Shuri’s schematics, and dragged a bag of more delicate tools across the benchtop. Bucky shifted his arm, twisting the wrist around. He pulled a face as he rolled the joint. Tony bit his lip to stifle a smile at Bucky’s expression. “Wrist then? I’m betting wrist.”

Bucky nodded.

“Well, don’t worry Tasty Freeze, we’ll have you fixed up in no time. Probably. If I have to replace things, it may take longer to fabricate parts. I’m guessing nothing about this marvel of engineering is off the shelf, not if I know Shuri. Not that I really know Shuri, but she chats with Pete and Riri sometimes, when they’re out here.” Tony can feel his tone and expression softening around the kids, even mentioning them always put him in a slightly better mood. He looked up at Bucky as he loosened the smallest of the arm panels, right before the wrist joint. “They’re good kids, you know? If I could, I’d bring them all down full time. As it is, I can only get them out here every once and awhile. They give me hope for the future, you know?”

Bucky nodded, hesitant, but smiled softly. Tony felt warm.

“How have you been doing, Bucky?” Tony asked, face pointed firmly towards the inside of Bucky’s wrist, the delicate connections and components exposed. “I mean, what are you up to? You know, for fun. What are your hobbies?” Bucky shrugged, then flinched when it caused the arm Tony had open in front of him to move.

“Sorry, _sorry._ ” Bucky mumbled. Tony grinned and tipped his head up.

“It’s fine, Buckaroo. Calm down.” Tony said, as he swapped the driver he’d been using to pick through the wires for a fine pair of tweezers, heat shrink stuck on the ends. “I just mean, what do you like to do, besides stare menacingly at things and hang around in corners. I don’t see you around much.”

Tony focused on the wires. One of them looked beat up. Insulation damage, like it had gotten pinched somewhere. He could fix that.

“I mean, not much lately. I’ve been trying to focus on _healing_ , whatever that means. I sleep a lot I guess.” Bucky mumbled, offering it like it was all he had. Tony raised an eyebrow.

“Okay then, well what about before?” He said, holding the other wires aside while he hauled a bin on the floor closer with his foot. He needed some electrical tape. That would be a quick fix, he could at least make it feel better while he matched the wires. “You had to do something before the war. And don’t say keeping Steve out of trouble, because that was _not_ a hobby. I swear, that’s a full-time job, and he owes you _back pay_.” Tony said it distractedly as he rummaged through the bin one-handed. There was one roll of tape in there, near the bottom. Bucky laughed at that, surprised and light.

“Yeah, it was a lot of work. It was worth it, though.” Bucky said, “I dunno, I read a lot. Books were pretty cheap, and I could get some out of the library when I was real broke.” He added it like an afterthought. Tony could work with that.

“We’ve got a bit of a library going here, down by the common lounge, near the courtyard. It’s not organized, but it’s getting pretty full of books.” Tony said as he ripped off a length of tape to wrap the little wire. “You can also get almost anything digitally. SI has a huge library of digitized books available, I can get you an account for that. And anything we don’t have, we can probably buy. Any particular genre you enjoy?” It was an easy question, light, but Bucky still paused, like he didn’t have an answer, or didn’t want to say it. Tony shrugged.

“Steve likes shitty spy novels a lot, the kind that are all basically the same just with different names.” Tony offered without looking up, “I like adventure stories, they’re easy to get through and I can pick them up whenever, probably get all the way through one when I’m having trouble sleeping. Pepp likes to burn through mystery novels, she’s brought a lot of those up too, so they’re not hanging around her apartment. I told her I’d get her a bigger place if she wants a library, but she won’t listen. She’ll just come back if she wants to reread one, I suppose. It’s not like we’re gonna run out of room out here.”

“Sci-fi,” Bucky said quietly like he was admitting a secret. “I used to love sci-fi dime-store novels. They always got to go on adventures, and everything seemed so… I dunno, the future looked bright from there. They probably seem kinda dumb now, huh? The future isn’t anything like they said it was gonna be.” Bucky smiled when he said it, some combination of wistful and self-deprecating. Tony raised an eyebrow and shrugged.

“Yeah, they didn’t get everything right, but that wasn’t the point. The point is to tell a story, make you think, make you _hope_. I think they probably did a decent job if we still ended up here, and we’re still moving forwards.”

Bucky smiled again and nodded. They chatted about books for a while longer, as long as it took Tony to replace the frayed wire, and encase the whole little bundle of them in some flexible wrap so they’d be out of the way this time. Bucky looked happier when he left.

Tony sent a tablet up later, with a note explaining how to get onto the SI digital library portal. He also mentioned the sci-fi collection out at CUNY City Tech in Brooklyn. They had almost everything printed since the twenties, and Tony could definitely work something out with the college if Bucky wanted to go take a few things out. They could make a day of it, at some point. It would be fun.

* * *

Every other Friday, Peter came to the compound. Last week, he’d come out just to bring Bucky his patches, and he’d hurried home afterward. This week, Peter came out for the whole weekend. Tony would admit, those had always been his favorite weekends since he’d started living out here almost full time. Before team Cap had come back, the compound had always seemed kind of empty, even as he slowly filled it up with new Avengers.

The new Avengers were nice, but they weren’t his pack. Before the council’s decision, Tony had resolved that he wasn’t going to do that again. Peter was pack though, and Peter made sure that he wasn’t really alone out there when he could.

Saturday morning, bright and early, Peter showed up in the lab with a new box of patches for Bucky and a list of very specific questions about a physics lab he was working on. Tony suspected that Peter knew most of this stuff already, but he didn’t point that out. It was kind of sweet that Peter was putting that much effort into looking out for him.

Then Peter brought up his ideas for his capstone project, and that was enough to kill a few hours. They sketched out schematics, and balanced equations, and argued good-naturedly about optimal material compositions. They could have lost the whole day like that, they usually did, but Friday cut in gently somewhere in the afternoon to tell them that Bucky was up and about. She suggested that maybe they could check in with him now, before it got too late in the evening.

By the time Bucky actually showed up, they were deep in conversation again, bickering about the alloy composition of the main struts, about strength and rigidity and weight. Bucky stopped in the doorway, looking like he might just back slowly out of the room again. Tony smiled wide when he caught him out of the corner of his eye, throwing his arms wide for a hug like he always did now. Bucky slid over gratefully.

“Hey, Winter Wonderland!” Tony said. He wrapped Bucky up tight, and carefully counted the seconds of their embrace. There was definitely a line somewhere there, between platonic pack comfort and creepy come-on, but Tony hadn’t found it yet. He was trying though. It didn’t help that Bucky seemed content enough to stay there for as long as he was allowed. Peter stepped closer after about 30 seconds because Peter was the best.

“So, Mr.Barnes, have you been feeling any better this week? Any emotional changes?” Peter bounced while he talked, hands behind his back this time. He was next to them, but not quite close enough to touch. Tony dropped his arms, and Bucky stepped back. Tony could feel the distance between them now. It was fine, it was a good platonic distance, right? “Mood swings? Trouble sleeping? Anything like that?”

Bucky shook his head, sticking his hands in his pockets. He was without a hoodie for once, but still dressed casually, and his hair was back in a messy ponytail.

“No, not really. It’s been… it’s been a good week for me, I guess.” Bucky didn’t quite mumble, he was getting better at looking up when he was talking. It was progress. “I think it’s all been good. Tried to remember the patches every few hours, and I think I did okay. Miss Friday helped me out when I forgot them.”

Tony took the opportunity, while Bucky was talking to Peter, to slip away to one of the benches across the lab. He was going to give them space. He pulled up the schematics for the stabilizing thrusters in the Iron Man boots and got to work. He kept half an eye on Bucky and Peter across the room, but he tried not to listen in.

Bucky let Peter touch him. He looked tense the first time, when Peter put a stabilizing hand on the side of his head while he checked Bucky’s pupil response, but it went well. Tony was proud, of both of them. The distance was _good_.

They chatted about Peter’s classes, about his major and what he was planning to do after he graduated next year. Bucky talked haltingly about the book he’s been reading — Tony silently beamed, because Bucky had been using the tablet and the digital library, and he picked it up so much faster than Cap had — and how he wasn’t sure what he’d do if he was out there, in the real world.

“I dunno. I dunno if I’m cut out for it, you know? The school’n stuff I mean.” Bucky said, and it caught the edge of Tony’s conscious mind, hooked him into the conversation. “I’ve never been _smart_ like you, you know? And I never had talent like Stevie does. He can just… _draw_ shit, uh, I mean stuff. He can just draw stuff and it comes out well.”

Bucky shrugged. Tony sat up in the chair, half of his brain already across the room yelling about how stupid that was, but Peter beat him to it. Peter made a face, while he was entering data on the tablet in front of him.

“That’s not true, Mr.Barnes. You’re plenty smart, you just haven’t had the opportunity to learn and practice. I went to a special school, and I picked up a lot of things there I probably wouldn’t have gotten without it. That gave me an advantage. It doesn’t mean I’m _smarter_ than you, I just spent more time working on learning things.” Peter said it offhandedly, in the earnest way he had that made people trust him. Tony smiled. “I bet Captain Rogers wasn’t always that good at art. I bet he spent a lot of time practicing it by himself, learning how to do it. He just didn’t show you those things, because he wasn’t as proud of them. I bet you could get that good at art, or science, music, or whatever it is you wanna do. You just have to put in the time. You’ve got the time now, you just have to find the thing you wanna spend it on.”

Tony’s heart clenched, because Peter was a very _good_ person. He was probably the best person on the compound to do what he was doing right now. Sure, Steve had morals of steel, and he could also be earnest as fuck when he wanted to be, but it wouldn’t be the same coming from him. It probably also helped that Pete had never stabbed anyone in the metaphorical back, but that was entirely Tony’s hang up.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is, we’re all here to help. You’re pack now, and if we can help you find something you wanna put the time into, or help you with like, school stuff or whatever, we’ll be here. It’s not too late if it’s what you wanna do.” Peter said, looking over at Bucky with those sincere puppy dog eyes. “You don’t have to go somewhere to do it either. You can get your GED online and it’ll be like you graduated high school just fine, and then there are a lot of good colleges that do online classes. You have options, and you find the thing you want to excel at and do that.”

Tony carefully avoided looking over. He knew if he looked, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from _going_ over there and wrapping one or both of them up in a hug. He was supposed to be keeping his distance today, he was going to do that.

“So here, let me give you my number, I can put you in the group chat. I’m sure that whatever you decide to do, we can find someone to help you out with it.” Peter offered.

“I, uh,” Bucky mumbled, like he was kind of ashamed, “I don’t have a phone or anything. I’ve got the tablet Tony gave me, but not a phone.”

That was a perfect entry point, too perfect for Tony to pass up. He didn’t get up from his chair though, he could maintain his distance. He could behave himself.

“I’ll send a phone up for you in the morning, Freeze Pop. I’ll set it up and everything. Hey Friday? Can you grab a phone from the secure R&D pool for me, and assign Bucky a number for it?” Tony said, hands stilling under the holograms he was still throwing around the workstation. “I can show you how to link up with the tablet though, the tablet will probably still be easier for a lot of things. The screen is bigger, easier to manage.”

Bucky looked the way he always did when someone did something nice for him these days. He looked a little bit lost, a little confused, but ultimately grateful. Tony carefully resisted the urge to go over and hug him again.

When Steve came down later, Bucky and Peter were huddled over Peter’s phone. Peter was showing him all the useful apps he might want, and how to pull things from the cloud. Steve smiled softly at them, as he stopped in the doorway. Peter got a little quiet when he noticed, but he still hugged Bucky goodbye and waved at Steve when they left.

“You’re doing good, kid,” Tony said fondly after the lab got quiet again. “You’re really helping him, it’s good for him to know that we all have his back.”

Peter watched him thoughtfully for a long moment like he wanted to say something. The moment passed though, and they got back to work on Peter’s project. They worked right through dinner, and only stopped when Peter was yawning into his arm and blinking sleepily at the schematics floating in the air around them.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i clearly have no patience and no chill, but if i look at this fight scene any more im going to delete it and start over and i don't want to.
> 
> not-betad so if you see any mistakes let me know.
> 
> enjoy?

Tony was in the workshop — feeling a little unsettled for some reason — when Friday chirped in his ear.

“Boss, Sargent Barnes seems to be in distress. His core body temperature is climbing out of his normal range, and he seems to be trying and failing to sleep.”

Tony pushed upright.

“Is it a nightmare? What’s the range on his brain wave activity?” Tony asked, not dismissing the schematic he’d been building on the holoscreen.

“No. I don’t think it’s a nightmare. His pheromone levels are spiking, and his pulse is well above baseline for his current activity level, which is none. He’s not moving.”

 _Shit_ Tony cursed internally because that sounded like heat. They were prepared for this, but he had a feeling Barnes wasn’t really ready.

“Friday, is Cap in the building?” He asked, hopeful.

“Yes, boss. Shall I let him know?” She asked.

“Yeah.” Then, after a moment, when the itching need to _help_ got to be too much, “keep me updated, please. On Barnes and on Cap. Until he gets over there at least, I don’t need updates after that.”

He tried to get back to what he was doing, but most of what he was doing was staring blankly at the schematic hanging in the air in front of him and poking it back and forth.

“Boss, Captain Rogers says there’s nothing he can do for Sargent Barnes during heat, and he’s fairly sure that Sargent Barnes is in heat. The Sargent does not respond well to his scent.”

That was... oddly satisfying to hear — and didn’t _that_ make him feel guilty? — but mostly confusing. It was slightly terrifying, actually.

“Alright, thanks, Baby Girl.” He did swipe away the schematic he’d been butchering this time. It closed with a sad little chirp. “Can you call Bucky for me please?” He stood, and dragged out the little supply cache he’d put together. He’d expected Steve to take care of his mate during heat, but that didn’t mean Tony’s alpha hadn’t demanded they prepare for it. He’d expected that they’d use the box, or at least most of it, but he’d expected Cap to be able to bring it up. He’d have to send one of the bots up with it, then.

The static sound of an open mic slithered to life, and Tony could just barely hear the sound of Bucky’s breathing, quick and shallow. He frowned.

“Hey Buckaroo, you doing okay up there?” He heard a vague hitch in Bucky’s breathing, a small pained sort of sound. Tony took a deep breath of his own. He hefted the box onto a trolley and sent DUM-E to the elevator. “Hey, Bucky? I’m gonna need you to talk to me for a moment here, okay? I need to know that you’re alive in there.”

His fingers curled around the edges of the table, physically preventing himself from running to the elevator. He shouldn’t go up there, but he _wanted_ to.

“Stark?” Bucky’s voice was low, hoarse. It grated down Tony’s spine uncomfortably.

“Hey now, we’ve had this conversation. At least call me Tony, ok? Can you do that?” He said calmly.

It took a moment.

“Yes, Tony.” And god, the way Bucky’s voice wrapped around the sound of his name made Tony shiver, made his alpha purr and tug in his chest. It didn’t calm the desire to go help Bucky _right the fuck now_ but it was something.

“Good. You’re doing really well, Buckaroo,” He said, “now tell me how you’re feeling.”

There was a long moment of silence.

“It hurts, but I’m managing.” Bucky rasped out. “ I don’t remember it being this bad, but I can ride it out.”

Tony swallowed hard because Bucky didn’t _sound_ like he was managing. He didn’t sound like anything good.

"Alright, buddy. That's good." Then Friday hummed at him, and the holoscreen to the left showed DUM-E pulling to a stop outside Bucky's door. That was good. "So Bucky, I need you to do me a favor, alright? Do you think you can stand up?"

Bucky made a noise, a soft and dispirited noise that could have meant yes or no or something else entirely. Tony tightened his grip.

“Come on Bucky. I need you to get up and open the door for me, please. I have some things for you, things that are going to help you get through this. I want to help you, honey, can you get up and open the door please?”

“You’re going on to help me?” Bucky rasped, and Tony tried to relax around the broken sound of his voice, hopeful and disbelieving. Of _course_ he was going to help. He couldn’t _not_ help.

There was movement, the sliding of cloth against cloth, and almost silent bare footsteps on the floor. Tony wouldn’t have heard any of that if his senses weren’t already amped to eleven.

“I’m not going to come up. I’m not coming in person. But I have some things for you. Things that will help. We’ll start there.” Tony said firmly, and Bucky’s answering whine was painful. “Please don’t ask me to come up honey, because I might do it. And I can’t. But _my_ instincts are going to want me to, and _your_ instincts are going to want me to.”

Bucky opened the door and Tony heard DUM-E chirp a hello in the hallway before carrying in his box of stuff. Tony relaxed a little because if Bucky could let the bot in, Bucky could open the box and get the things that he needed, and Bucky would be okay.

“So there are water bottles in there, I can send up some more later so don’t ration them. Don’t ration anything, there’s more of everything. There’s also food, solid foods and some of that calorie goo. I know it’s not appetizing but it’s got vitamins and stuff and it’ll keep you going if you can’t keep anything else down.”

Tony took a breath and shifted. He held on to the benchtop in front of him.

“There’s also a whole bunch of clean blankets, to keep you nested up until it passes, and, uh, some other things, like _support aids_ , in case you want to, you know… it makes it easier sometimes. I know no one is going to be there to help you through it, like Steve can’t be _in there_ with you, so for this time and however many other times you want, this will help make it easier.” Tony knew he was rambling, but he didn’t know what else to say, just that he didn’t want to leave Bucky alone.

He shut his mouth. The static sound of the open mic was gone, Friday correcting for it already, so Tony could hear Bucky rummaging in the box, and the hitch of breath that clearly indicated... _something._

“Hey, uh, Tony?” Bucky sounded small, nervous, and Tony hated that. He hated the tone of it and hated that he couldn’t _fix_ it. Tony cleared his throat.

“Yeah?” His voice sounded firmer than he felt, his alpha bleeding in to stabilize his tone. Bucky made a breathy sound.

“Can I, uh,” Bucky started, and then stopped. When he started talking again, it sounded muffled and distant, like he’d buried his face in something. “Can I have another blanket? One of the soft ones from, um, from downstairs? From the lab. Please?”

Tony froze, breath catching in his chest, and his fingers clutched to the bench in a white-knuckled grip. His alpha was over the moon, howling over the fact that the strong, gorgeous omega upstairs was asking for his scent. During their heat. Tony nodded, then realized Bucky couldn’t see it.

“Yeah, sure. Whatever you need honey.” Tony said, “as soon as DUM-E gets back down, I’ll send one up for you.”

Bucky made a noise. Tony closed his eyes. He wasn’t _trying_ to picture it, but his alpha wanted it bad. Bucky, spread out in his makeshift nest of blankets and nothing else, all sweat-dampened pale skin pinked with need at the edges. Tony took a calming breath, promising he’d come back to that later. Hopefully once the call was done and he was alone, upstairs, with the door locked. He’d probably regret it afterward, he felt guilty about it already, but he’d worry about it then. For the moment he had to _focus_.

“Okay. Is there anything else you need, sugar? Anything I can get for you?” Tony asked, the alpha growl creeping into his voice just a little. “Just call me. I’m serious here, Bucky, anything I can get you, let me know. Or Friday, if you’re nervous. Just let someone know if you need anything, okay?”

Silence stretched out for a long moment, and Tony imagined that he could hear Bucky’s heartbeat through the connection, hummingbird fast and light. Nervous.

“Sugar, I need you to answer me, please. Can you promise to let me know if you need anything else?”

“Y-yes Tony,” Bucky answered. Tony purred in response.

“Thank you, honey. You’re doing so good. Now, promise me you’ll take care of yourself, okay? Drink enough water and eat and make yourself a nice nest, okay honey?”

“Yes, Tony,” Bucky answered again, higher this time. Tony smiled at the sound.

“Okay. Good, that’s good.” Tony said, swallowing down the urge to ask to go up. He’d go if Bucky asked right now, and he knew that Bucky would ask if he made the offer. He was trying to be good, trying to be a good pack alpha and not push his luck. Bucky was _vulnerable_ , and he was _Steve’s mate,_ and Tony couldn’t do that. “Friday will monitor your vitals, is it alright if I put them up on the screen here? So I can make sure you’re doing alright?”

Bucky made a noise, sharp and quiet and desperate.

“Yes, Tony.” Then, like an afterthought, “ _Alpha_.”

And yeah, it was time to hang up. He needed to cut the line now before this got more embarrassing for Bucky. Before Tony fucked this up and things took a turn for the creepy.

“Okay, sugar, you’re doing so well. You’re so strong, you’ll get through this, okay?” He licked his lips, mouth dry. “I’m going to let you go now.”

Bucky made a noise, and Tony took it as agreement. He had to.

He cut the line manually with a flick of his fingers and fought to relax into the sudden silence.

  


* * *

Tony had buried himself in work, an issue that one of the R&D teams had run into on one of the projects the board was pushing. Pepper usually kept him out of the way of those projects, especially in his current state. He was officially on protected leave right now, they weren’t supposed to be asking him for things. He could still get onto the servers himself though, and he could take projects if he wanted.

And he needed a project.

He’d just figured it out, how to balance the energy equations in the forward circuit, and he was scribbling down the answer before he forgot it, when Friday chirped and brought a little window up in the corner of his schematic to get his attention.

He finished the equation before glancing over, then he scrambled to pick up the call because it was Bucky.

“Hey, Bucky what’s up?” Tony asked the moment Friday established the connection. Bucky made a panting, heavy breathing sort of noise. Tony blinked, worried. “Sugar? Honey, are you there?”

There was a wet noise, then a choked almost sob, and Tony’s alpha was awake and throwing back its head.

“ _Alpha_!” Bucky choked out the word, and the desperate tone of his voice shifted Tony’s attention immediately because that wasn’t a fear response or a pain response, that was _desire_. “Tony, please. Just talk to me, please. I can’t, _I cant_ , I’m trying and it’s not _working_.”

Tony couldn’t breathe for a long second, then his blood rushed downward hot and quick.

“Oh honey, you’re doing amazing. That’s good.” Tony purred, his alpha crawling up his throat and making him brave. “What are you doing right now that’s not working for you, sugar?”

Bucky took a halting breath. Tony could hear a wet sound in the background and it made his heart pick up because he _knew_ that sound. He could _picture_ it.

“I’m using the... um the thing, the red thing... with the, uh, the... the thing.” Buck half mumbled through gritted teeth. “But it’s not, I mean it’s _nice_ , it’s good, but it’s not _working_ , it’s not enough.”

He sounded desperate and miserable. Tony took a moment to breathe and tried to center himself. The image of Bucky lying back in his nest, the red knotting vibrator shoved inside of him was large in his mind. _Fuck_.

“Okay, you’re doing good, Buckaroo. Thank you for calling me when you needed help, that was very good,” Tony said, quiet and warm, “now tell me exactly what you’re doing, please, so I know how to help you.”

Maybe he didn’t _need_ that information just to give Bucky a few pointers but he _wanted_ it so, so badly. He wanted to see it, but he wasn’t quite comfortable having Friday bring up the video feed without permission. He was greedy but there were still lines here, he had to keep some sort of boundaries. If he let himself cross more than he needed to he knew he wouldn’t be able to go back.

“I’m, _fuck_ , it’s inside me. The red one, with the knot on it. I tried using it, and it’s big, it’s good and everything, but it doesn’t feel right. I got the angle right, I have enough force, I just can’t _get there_.” Bucky whined, “I need more than this. Tony I _can’t_.”

“Okay, sugar.” Tony said, “Okay, we can work with that. Are you on your back or on your stomach sweetie?”

“On my back, Alpha.” Bucky breathed. Tony adjusted himself, his other hand gripped white knuckles onto the edge of the bench.

“Okay. Do you have the blanket I sent up? The one you asked for from the lab?” Tony asked, “I want you to take the blanket, spread it out under you, and nest up on your stomach, Okay?”

“Okay, yeah, I can do that,” Bucky said, and Tony waited until Bucky was settled again before he continued.

“All settled? Now, take a deep breath for me. Can you do that, cupcake? Just relax a little, don’t worry about anything else for a moment, just relax.” Tony said, quiet and not quite commanding. He could hear the alpha edge in his own voice, but it was a request and not an order. Bucky made a keening sort of noise anyway, low and desperate. “Just relax and let it go, baby, just breathe for a moment.”

Tony let the silence stretch out, to give Bucky a chance to actually relax. Bucky’s breath evened out a bit, not quite calm but less desperately ragged.

“Alright, buckaroo.” Tony started, “I want you to take the toy, and feel around the base. Do you feel the switch there? Have you played with that switch, honey?” Bucky’s breath sped up a little.

“No, Alpha.” Bucky almost whispered and Tony had to adjust himself again because that made him uncomfortably hard in two quiet words.

“Remember that switch, we’ll get to it in a bit, okay?” Tony said, “for now, I need you to get your knees under you, can you do that for me? Keep your head down in the blankets, but stick your ass in the air, can you do that for me?”

“Yes, Alpha,” Bucky said, and Tony heard him scramble to get into position.

“Good boy, you’re so good.” Tony crooned. He fought the urge to palm himself over his pants. It was difficult. He was holding onto his self-control by his fingernails. “Are you slick? Reach back behind you and tell me if you’re wet sugar.”

“Very wet, Alpha. I’m making a mess, I’m dripping for you, alpha.” Bucky bit out, and… _okay_ that hadn’t been the reason he asked, but that was ridiculously hot. Tony growled low in his throat.

“So good, so sweet baby. You’re spoiling me.” Tony answered, swallowing against his dry throat. “If you’re that wet, the toy should slide right in. I want you to go slow, though. Can you slide it in slow for me, honey?”

Bucky didn’t answer, but he made a muffled moan that told Tony he’d done as he was told.

“ _Gods_ , sugar, you sound amazing. Don’t move it right away please, just slide it in all the way to the base. Is it all the way in?”

“N-no, Alpha. It’s long, Alpha, and this is a new angle.” Bucky panted, “I’m working on it. I’ll get it.”

“Take your time. This should feel good, so just relax and give yourself time to get used to it. I know you can do it, you’re very good.” Tony purred, “just let me know when it’s all the way in, Okay? Just keep working on it, and let me know when it’s in.”

“It’s in, Alpha. All the way to the knot. I can’t get the knot in yet, but I’ll keep trying. Please, can I move it, Alpha? _Tony please!_ ”

Tony felt lightheaded, all of the blood in his body was rushing south, and he didn’t think he’d _ever_ been this dizzy with desire and arousal. Bucky was going to kill him. His self-control was fraying at the edges, and he knew it was only a matter of time before he snapped.

“Yeah.” Tony said, “Yeah, move it. Start slowly though, don’t want you to hurt yourself, sweetheart. Be gentle.”

Bucky groaned.

“Alpha please, I need it _harder_. It’s been so _long_ Tony. Please let me go harder.” He pleaded. Tony pressed a hand to his own covered cock and hissed quietly.

“Yeah, Okay. But be careful, sweetheart. Let me know when you’re ready for it, Okay?” Tony bit out, alpha crawling into his voice again. “When you’re ready for m- the knot, just tell me, sweetheart.”

“Oh, fuck, Tony, Alpha.” Bucky whined, “want... want it, want you. It’s not the same, it’s better but it’s not...” his voice hitched, and he smothered another heavy moan. “I’m ready, Alpha. Want you, want your knot, now please, _please!_ ”

“Okay sweetheart, can you reach that switch? Don’t flip it yet, just feel it, make sure you can reach it, Okay?” Tony waited for an answer, but mostly he just got a whine. “Okay sweetheart, get the knot inside yet? Is the swell of it inside you?”

“Yes, Alpha.” Bucky sounded close to broken. “It’s in Alpha. It’s not _enough_. Please.”

“Good. You’re so good for me gorgeous, sugar, so sweet.” Tony hadn’t made a decision to touch himself but he gave up trying to deny that he was. He pushed his hand into his pants to grip himself, pumping his hand over his shaft lightly. He was close already, but Bucky was _absolutely_ going to come first. He’d take care of Bucky first. “Push it in all the way to the base, then flip that switch.”

“Okay, Alpha. Okay, I... _fuck fuck Tony._ ” Bucky dissolved into a keening wail. “Oh, oh Tony, Alpha, fuck.”

Tony bit his lip hard and came in his pants at the sound of Bucky losing it when the knot on the toy popped inside of him. It was enough that Tony popped his own knot, his underwear pinching and tight suddenly. Tony flushed, suddenly embarrassed. He hadn’t popped a knot masturbating since he was a goddamn _teenager_.

“Oh, sweetheart, that was _gorgeous_. You did so well, honey. Can you turn onto your side for me please?” Tony panted, leaning heavily back against the bench. “Just lay down and relax. Pull that blanket over you and snuggle down into your nest for a while, and try to get some sleep, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Bucky slurred, “Yes, Alpha. Gonna take a nap.”

Tony pressed his forehead to the cold metal benchtop with a silent sigh at the sound of it.

“Have a good nap then, sweetheart. I’ll talk to you later, just let Friday know if you need to talk again, Okay honey? Call any time, I’m here.”

“Yes, Alpha.” He said sleepily, “love you Alpha.”

Friday was a saint, and a treasure, and a genius, because she cut the connection then, putting the readout of Bucky’s vital signs as he slipped off to sleep back onto the edge of the holoscreen floating back over the bench. And she did it before Tony mumbled, “ _Oh fuck me._ ”

* * *

Bucky called him again a few times during his heat, but it was never like it was that first time. Bucky just wanted him to talk, so Tony had rambled on for hours at a time about the project he was working on, and the principles of balancing the energy inputs and outputs from the delicate boards in the assembly arms, how the issue was complicated by the types of materials they’d have to use for the specific environment.

Every time Tony started to trail off, or change the subject, Bucky asked a question in his sleepy, relaxed voice that got him talking again. It was... thoughtful, actually. It felt like Bucky was interested in this stupid project that no one who wasn’t making money of it would be interested in.

Steve came down on day three looking worried, like he hadn’t been sleeping well. Tony felt the sudden rush of guilt like a hit of adrenaline.

“How’s he doing?” Steve tried for nonchalance and missed the mark a little. “Buck, he uh, he’s not taking my calls. Friday said he was talking to you.”

Steve looked at him all wide-eyed concern, and yeah, that was guilt. Tony tried not to let it show, he didn’t want a lecture from Captain America.

“He’s doing well. I think things are, uh, ramping down a little right now. We’ve been chatting more, nothing serious or anything.” Tony said, looking intently back at the schematics in front of him. He was just spinning it around, zooming in and out, highlighting random bits every once and awhile. He just needed to look busy, and he seemed to be fooling Steve at least. When he glanced over Steve looked more relieved than anything else. That made Tony feel _worse_.

“Good.” Steve said, “That’s good. Thanks, Tony, I don’t know what we’d do without you. I… I appreciate everything you’re doing for Buck. You’re a good person, a good Alpha.” Steve sounded so sincere it made Tony’s teeth hurt. “We’re lucky to have you. Bucky is lucky to have you.”

 _I’m not a good guy,_ Tony didn’t say, _you wouldn’t say that if you knew what I’ve been doing with your mate. What I’ve been thinking about doing._

He thought about saying it. He couldn’t though. Steve had enough to deal with, he didn’t need Tony’s issues piled on top. They needed to trust each other, even if that trust was misplaced.

“He’s pack, Steve. I’m going to look after him. Whatever he needs.” Tony said as he glanced back up to gauge Steve’s reaction. Steve was smiling, soft and grateful, and Tony’s stomach sank.

He was going to burn for this.

“Well, I don’t want to keep you from your work,” Steve said, lighter than he had been. He seemed relieved. It hurt to watch. “I’ll let you get back to it.”

Tony watched Steve leave, and he felt guilty still, but there was a bitter, skeptical edge to it. Steve cared, Tony _knew_ that, it just didn’t look like it.

If Bucky was _his_ mate, Tony wouldn’t be quite as blasé about the situation. Tony would be talking him through this, hell, Tony would be _in there_ helping him. If Bucky was Tony’s mate, Tony would treat him better than _this_. Yes, there were extenuating circumstances, but Tony couldn’t really wrap his mind around that right now.

He _certainly_ wouldn’t be encouraging _another alpha_ to help Bucky out.

Maybe Steve was just better than him, more secure or more trusting. Maybe Tony was just a bad person, taking advantage of a shitty situation here, and enjoying it far more than he should be.

He still picked up when Bucky called though. He was weak.

* * *

The moment Bucky’s heat was over, Friday called to let Tony know. Steve and Sam were down in the gym doing whatever super workout the two of them got up to down there. Tony wondered sometimes how Sam kept up with Steve, but he wasn’t actually curious enough to ask.

Tony didn’t bother having Friday call them. He’d already come to terms with this, he’d already failed, and he was going to indulge himself one more time. At least.

Instead, Tony rallied the cleaning bots and told them to move in the moment Bucky left the room. Then he headed down to their apartments with a bag of groceries in one arm.

Tony wasn’t a great cook, but he could make a few things competently. Scrambled eggs were one of those things, and they were pretty simple. He could also pack in the protein and vitamins, both things Bucky would need after almost a week in his room alone.

Bucky was in the shower when Tony made it down. Tony could hear the water running from the kitchen, and he tried not to picture Bucky in there, flushed and kitten weak and _wet._ He wasn’t that far in the hole, not yet at least.

He knew Bucky would call if he needed something, so he just started on the food prep. He chopped vegetables, cooked and crumbled sausages, and scrambled eggs. He waited until Bucky came out into the kitchen before he put the eggs on the stove though.

“Hey, Buckaroo!” He said as Bucky eyed him at the stove, and poured the beaten egg over top, “feeling better? Come sit down, this is almost done. We’re gonna get some good solid food in you, don’t worry.” Tony turned back to the stove, poking at the eggs in the pan as they started to get firm, slapped the lid on, and turned the burner off the moment they looked glossy but not wet.

“So, how are you feeling? Any nausea? Headache? Dizziness?” Tony asked, sliding a full plate and a glass of fresh orange juice over. Bucky blinked at him, and Tony crossed to press his wrist to Bucky’s forehead. He felt warm but not overly so. Tony sank onto the stool beside him.

“I’m fine,” Bucky said, and Tony pushed a fork into his hand. “A bit drained right now, but I’m survivin’ well enough.”

Tony wanted so _bad_ to provide physical comfort, wrap him in a hug, kiss his forehead, tell him it would be fine and that Tony would take care of him.

 _Yeah, you wanna take care of him alright,_ Tony’s guilty conscience whispered, _you wanna take care of him, but he’s not yours. He’s just an omega trying to get through something rough, and he doesn’t need you taking advantage of that. You’re supposed to be pack Alpha. You’re supposed to protect him, don’t be someone he needs to be protected from._

Bucky, for his part, didn’t complain when Tony stayed close, as Tony watched him eat the whole heaping plate while he talked. He didn’t even complain when Tony started cutting up fruit, apples and pears and berries, and slipped it over piece by piece until Bucky was more than full.

Bucky looked tired then, and Tony helped him back to his nest, now freshly laundered and soft again. Bucky smiled up at him and nuzzled into his hand when Tony pushed a stray lock of damp hair back behind his ear. Tony bit the inside of his cheek and turned to leave.

 _Bucky isn’t yours,_ he reminded himself again. He wasn’t going to hurt Steve like that. Or Bucky. He wasn’t going to break up the pack because he couldn’t keep it in his pants.

* * *

Tony didn’t see Bucky for a while after that. Well, he _saw_ Bucky, tucked into various quiet corners around the compound with his GED book open, scribbling notes in the margins as he read. It was adorable, it made Tony’s heart swell, but Tony kept his distance.

They talked a little, polite small talk when Bucky noticed him passing by. Bucky smiled at him but didn’t meet his eyes, so Tony kept it short and sweet.

“Doing okay with the studying, Buckaroo?” Tony asked, and Bucky nodded, holding up his phone.

“Yeah, Peter’s been helping me out, and his friends. They just went through most of this stuff, they send me notes and talk me through stuff.” Bucky said softly, “and Ms.Friday’s been helping me, too. She can usually find what I’m looking for and doesn’t seem to mind showing me how she did it. You know, so I can learn.”

“Good. Let me know if you need anything, okay?” Tony replied, and Bucky nodded. That was how most of their conversations went now.

Pepper seemed to like it well enough. He was back to work, clearing things out of the R&D and proof of concept prototype queues faster than he ever had before. He was spending time with Peter too, and the rest of the pack. He was doing everything he was supposed to do, he was just a little distant. But that was fine. He had a lot of responsibilities, right? He was juggling the pack, and SI, and the Avengers, even if he wasn’t in the field.

That’s how he ended up on a business trip, somewhere halfway around the world. He would have complained about it, but the distance was actually good. Probably. It almost felt normal, like he was living _Tony Stark’s_ life again. That was kind of comforting.

He still checked in every day, right before he went to bed. He called Pepper first, gave her an update on SI business. Then he called Rhodey, to check in on the pack. Rhodey might not really be a pack member, but he was the Alpha for the Avengers off the field, and he was managing the compound now.

On the third day, Rhodey looked amused when he answered the video call. Tony had been through a long day of meetings, but now he was curled up in his hotel suite, carefully not emptying the minibar. So he was living the life of a slightly _improved_ Tony Stark at least.

“Hey Platypus! How’s the home front? Everyone behaving for you while Daddy’s gone?” Tony said, tired but glad to see a friend anyway. Rhodey smiled in return.

“Everything’s fine here, Tones. Things are good. Carol’s started training with Rogers and them today, and things went well. I think she’ll clear them for duty soon.” Rhodey said, then he leaned to the side, scooting over a bit. “Barnes here sat out, buried in his books, but still. You wanna come say hi, Barnes?”

Tony didn’t realize there was a knot of tension in his back, right above his shoulder blades, until he saw Bucky there. Bucky smiled shyly, fiddling with his hands, and Tony felt the tension bleed out of him as he smiled back.

“Hey Buckaroo! You’ve been studying hard?” Tony said, “staying out of trouble?” Bucky nodded, nervous and tight. “You need something, Tasty Freeze?” Bucky nodded again.

“I’m a little stuck on a problem here, Petey said you were the best at physics stuff, so I was wondering if you’d mind helping out. When you’re done, you know, if you have time or whatever.” Bucky mumbled, eyes hopeful. Tony nodded.

“Yeah, no, of course, Bucky. Whatever you need.” Tony said. Rhodey looked amused as he turned back to Tony.

“I’m good, Tones. I don’t have anything important to say if you wanna take care of your boy here.” Rhodey said, his smile softening a bit. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay? Have a good night.”

Rhodey didn’t wait for Tony to respond, just slipped out the other side of the frame, leaving Bucky there on his own.

“Hi,” Tony said quietly, eyes soft. “Do you have your tablet with you? So you can show me the problem.” Bucky shook his head slowly, looking a little anxious. It might have been annoying, on someone else. On Bucky, Tony found it endearing, because he was already ruined.

“Okay, that’s fine. Do you have your book at least? So you can hold it up?”

Bucky nodded at that and slid out of frame.

They worked out the problem, step by step, with a little help from Friday. She projected a screen for each one of them while they worked through it. It was worth it when Bucky solved the next problem Tony put up all on his own. He looked over the moon, and he shot Tony a wide smile as he signed off.

Tony heard about it the next day, when Rhodey assured him it was just the two of them today and proceeded to tease him for a few minutes before they got to business.

“Carol thinks it’s time to clear Cap’s team, let them out in the field for real. I think that will be good for them.” Rhodey said once they settled in. Tony bristled a bit at that.

“I’m sure most of them are fine. I don’t think Barnes is ready.” Tony said, firmly, “he’s not cleared by medical yet, he can’t be in the field.”

Rhodey eyed him skeptically. Tony readied himself to fight because Bucky did _not_ belong in the field yet. He wasn’t _ready_.

“Barnes isn’t on the list yet, no,” Rhodey said, obviously trying not to grin at him. “He’s gonna stay safe at home with you, don’t worry Tones.”

Tony deflated a little and rolled his eyes.

“It’s not that,” Tony snapped, narrowing his eyes when Rhodey raised an eyebrow in response, because yeah, part of it definitely was _exactly_ that, “it’s _not_. Bucky can handle his shit, even right now. He’s just not _ready_ for it yet.”

Rhodey was still watching him carefully.

“You’re a good alpha, Tony. No, I know what you’re thinking, but you are. You’re watching over your pack, taking care of them.” Rhodey said, carefully, “and you’re doing a good job.”

It was nice to hear, it soothed something in Tony’s hindbrain. When Tony had agreed to be the alpha of this pack the council wanted to reforge, he’d pressed them to keep the Avengers separate from that, on and off the field. For however much Tony’s pack was _traditional_ , the Avengers had a much looser chain of command. Rhodey and Carol were in charge of that, in an utterly Alpha sense. Having Rhodey — his alpha in this arena, and someone he trusted as a leader — tell him he was doing this okay, it was an amazing feeling.

“Thanks, Rhodey.” Tony said, “it means a lot.”

“It’s just the truth.” Rhodey said, “and I’m serious about the team. There’s another chance to hit Hydra coming up soon. I think Carol is going to tap in Cap and them for this, and you’ll be the guy in the chair.”

* * *

The mission was a few days after Tony got back. He dropped into the briefing, even though he’d read it all, and Carol usually let him skip them when he was going to be staying at the compound. Sure, he still had an active role in monitoring the feeds and keeping an eye on the perimeter surveillance.

Carol seemed happy to see him when he snuck into the back of the room right before she started though. That was good.

The plan was straight forward, and one they’d pulled off often enough before this that Tony had lost count. They would split into four teams this time since team Cap was joining them. One team would hold their exit point, the others would infiltrate, clearing out operatives as they went. Their ultimate goal was the labs on the third level, and Natasha would be in charge of gathering intel from the systems while the others in her cell wrecked the place. Cap and Carol would be in charge of planting explosives on the way out, and they’d blow the base once they were clear.

The base was typical for Hydra, a low traffic mostly scientific outpost, probably sparsely populated, in an isolated wooded area in northern Ontario. They had secured the necessary government permissions and local police and armed forces would be coming in after them for containment and clean up.

Carol stressed hard that they were aiming for non-lethal force wherever possible, but lethal force was authorized for Hydra associates if necessary. Tony had been expecting some arguing or eye-rolling from team Cap — or at least from _Steve_ who had never taken orders well in Tony’s experience — but they all made it through the briefing quietly and respectfully, which was a win as far as Tony was concerned.

He was walking on air by the time he settled into the command monitoring station in the back corner of the lab. It was really just a comfy chair and an array of projected screens, but he’d insisted it should have a cool name. Tony was the only one here for this part, so there wasn’t anyone to stop him from calling it whatever he wanted to.

He patched into the comms on the speakers and pulled up a project he was toying with for Bruce. Well, it was a compact water filtration and sterilization system, so it would make SI some money if he got it working, and he wouldn’t tell _Bruce_ it was for Bruce, but it totally was.

He was just putting it aside as the team reached the base when Bucky showed up. He looked well-rested now, but still anxious. Tony smiled wide at him and threw his arms wide for a hug like he always did. He might as well, it seemed normal enough by now, and no one needed to know that Bucky’s scent was amazing, in that close.

“Hey, Winter Wonderland! You coming down to watch the team kick some ass? We could get popcorn! Oh, Friday, can you get some popcorn going for us baby girl?” Bucky paused, lingering near Tony and the screens for long enough that Tony almost dropped his arms. Bucky leaned in at the last moment though, rubbing his cheek gently over Tony’s as he went.

It was the type of traditional pack greeting that they didn’t usually bother with. It sent Tony’s heart rate through the roof. Bucky, at least, didn’t seem to be put off. This was the closest they’d been, since Bucky’s heat.

“Pull up a chair if you’re sticking around, it’s mostly boring sneaking stuff. Unless you find sneaking stuff exciting. Figured you’d be tired of it, after all this time. It’s probably more exciting to do than to watch anyway.” Tony rambled on, keeping half his attention on the screen and half on Bucky as he settled into a rolly chair. “So how’s school going? The kids helping you out enough? Anything you’re having trouble with?”

Bucky sprawled out in the chair, even if the line of his shoulders still looked stiff. Tony was studying his scent, his body language, looking for any sign that things had changed between them. Bucky flashed Tony a grin.

“Things are good. I’m understanding more as I go. Maybe I remembered how to learn stuff, but it feels like it’s getting easier to pick stuff up.” Bucky said, eyes carefully not watching the screens. “Petey and MJ have been a lot of help. They’re good people.”

Tony’s smile went soft then, and Bucky matched it.

“Yeah, they’re good kids,” Tony said, and he glanced back towards the screen as the first team began infiltration. “I think the world is gonna turn out okay.”

Bucky nodded absently, eyes flicking to the screen, every once and awhile. Tony watched him, taking in the clear attention to detail. He wondered if Bucky wouldn’t rather be out there, watching Cap’s back than sitting here with Tony at home.

“I miss it sometimes. Being out in the field I mean,” Tony said, mostly to break the silence, “it was exciting, I felt like I was doing something to actually _help_.”

He watched Bucky for a reaction, anything to gauge Bucky’s feelings about it, but Bucky was a blank slate. Tony chewed his lip.

“Sorry you’re still benched, Buckaroo. I know this isn’t as glamorous and exciting as being Cap’s backup. I can put in a word for you, if you want, give the docs a little push in the right direction.” Tony offered, still watching Bucky more than the screens. Bucky flinched, but he hid it well, there and gone in a second.

“No, that’s fine.” He said quietly, “if I can... I spent a long time out there, hurting people. I know this isn’t the same thing, you guys are doing _good_ , it’s just...” Bucky paused, and shifted in his chair, eyes fixed down on the floor now, “I don’t wanna hurt if I can avoid it. I figure if you need me I can go out there, but I’m never gonna be first string, you know?

“I still have it all in my head. All the stuff Hydra made me do, all the ways they broke me down and put me back together wrong. I don’t _trust_ myself out there. I don’t wanna be that asset anymore unless I have to be.” Bucky looked up and met Tony’s eyes. The pause lingered, and Bucky studied him back like he wanted to say more. Tony let the silence be because he wanted to hear it.

“I’d do it. I’d go out there if you wanted me to. If that’s what it takes, I’ll do it.” Bucky sounded sure, unshakable, and Tony didn’t know what to _do_ with that.

“That’s fine, Bucky. You don’t have to do anything you don’t wanna do.” Tony reassured him, “like, never, okay? If you don’t feel comfortable in the field, you don’t have to go into the field. If you don’t wanna watch this, you can go upstairs. If you wanna leave the compound, go make a life of your own, that’s completely fine. You can move to the city, go to college, find something you’re passionate about. If you don’t wanna be an Avenger, you don’t have to be an Avenger. Period.” Tony gestured to the screens in front of them and leaned back a little.

Bucky relaxed, incrementally, until he was sprawled out across the chair again. He still looked unsure. Tony echoed his posture as much as he could.

Then Butterfingers rolled up, a bucket of only slightly singed popcorn hanging from his claw. It lightened the mood, and Bucky was grinning widely when Tony looked back up. Tony held the bucket out to him, shaking it enticingly.

“So, Terminator,” Tony said, throwing back a handful of popcorn, “So, read anything interesting lately? Any recommendations?”

Bucky chuckled, a low surprised sound, and Tony basked in the sound of it.

They passed the rest of the mission like that, chatting and eating popcorn. Bucky eventually relaxed into an explanation of the book he’d been working his way through. Tony listened intently and asked questions when he could. Carol broke the spell.

“Iron Man, do you copy?” She said, with the exasperated tone of someone who’d said something several times at that point.

“Sorry Captain, light of my life, could you repeat that, please? I was a little, uh, distracted?” Tony responded, pulling a face. Bucky smiled but didn’t laugh. Tony pouted at him theatrically.

“I said we’re clear. We’re heading back now.” Carol bit out, but Tony could hear the fondness under all of that exasperation.

“I got it, oh captain my captain. We’ll see you in an hour, I’ll order something. Indian? How’s Indian sound?” Tony leaned forwards, sweeping up his phone. There was a chorus of agreement, and Tony grinned as he pulled up a menu. “I gotchu guys, fly safe now!”

Friday cut the call and Tony turned back to Bucky with a grin.

* * *

Carol let them eat and wash up before the mission debrief. Tony went and settled in the back of the room with a cup of coffee and the platter of little cups of rice pudding with mango. He’d already made Bucky take one on his way upstairs, but he figured he could convince Steve to bring Bucky another one afterward. Bucky had looked pleased with the pudding.

He might not take another cup from Tony, but Steve could spoil him rotten. Steve _should_ spoil him rotten.

The field team looked tired, and Tony offered each one of them a dessert as they came in. Steve eyed him, confused.

“You gotta come to debrief to get your sweets.” Tony shrugged, “it’s a system that works for us. Have one, they’re good.”

Carol called the room to order, and everyone got quiet. Tony turned to face her and took a quiet sip of his coffee.

“The mission went well today, good teamwork out there guys. We haven’t started sifting through the data we picked up yet, but Stark will be on that tomorrow.” Carol’s tone was commanding, all alpha even without the actual Alpha command in the tone. Tony nodded.

“Friday’s already started indexing it, Ms.Danvers. We’ll be able to start working on actually digging through tomorrow.” Tony promised, “I’ll fit it into the database when anything relevant comes up.”

“Thank you, Tony. Does anyone else have anything to add?” Carol looked at the rest of them expectantly.

“Yeah, I know you guys cleared us for duty,” Steve spoke up, looking over at Tony, “and that was great, thank you for that. But Bucky hasn’t been at practice. Can you clear him for duty too? I know he’s worried about the programming, but it’s gone now. While we were in- well, it’s gone. He’s safe to be in the field with us.”

Carol took a step forward, ready to answer, but Tony cut in first.

“Bucky isn’t cleared to be in the field yet. When medical clears him, we can give him the option of fieldwork. He’ll decide what he wants to do then, but before that, it’s not up for discussion. Carol?” Tony ceded the floor to her once he’d said his piece. She looked amused, and Tony felt a rush of nervous embarrassment for the outburst. “Sorry, Captain.” He muttered, turning back down to his coffee.

“You’re fine, Stark. I agree, Bucky can join the field team once he’s cleared by medical if he wants. I’ll talk to him about it when the time comes.” She said, eyes shifting back to Steve.

“But he’s _fine_. With the patches and stuff he’s stable.” Steve argued. Carol didn’t back down.

“That isn’t the point. I’m telling you, it’s up to medical, and then it’s up to Bucky. He’s not going in the field until he’s cleared and he decides he’s ready to be there.” Carol said, firmly, leaving no room for argument. Tony could tell that Steve wasn’t happy with that, but he’d have to deal with it.

“Maybe…” Tony started, glancing at Steve for a moment before turning back to Carol, “maybe he could sit in with me. He has a good head for tactics, he’s great at stealth and stuff, and he watched everything from the shop with me. Maybe he’d consider consulting for now?” It was an olive branch, but also an excuse to spend more time with Bucky. An excuse that would also keep him out of the field, and out of danger.

“I suppose we can discuss that. I’ll talk to him about it.” Carol said, with a nod. “If it’s something he’s interested in, we can try it out. Thank you, Tony, good suggestion.”

Tony beamed, and when Steve shot him a smile, he felt even warmer for it. Sure, he still felt guilty, but he was working on it. He was trying, still, to make this work. He was definitely trying harder than he’d ever tried with a pack before.

Steve thanked him, after the meeting, and Tony sent him upstairs with two more little pudding cups.

* * *

Tony really was busy now that he was back to work. Having a new set of active duty avengers around the compound meant he also had a whole new set of armors and gadgets on the docket. He knew he didn't _have_ to outfit the team, he didn’t have to build armor and weapons and gadgets for each and every one of them. He wanted to though. He didn't go out in the field much anymore, he couldn't be there to watch their backs on most missions. This was the next best thing, the least he could do to make sure his team and his pack stayed safe.

The downside was, he was locked up in the lab most of the time now. He knew that would get better, once he'd done a full development cycle for the team Cap, but for the moment it was grueling.

Training was keeping the rest of them busy though, and Rhodey would come down to drag him up to dinner at least once a week, so he got to see everyone for a bit. It was still lonely, and his alpha got antsy when he hadn't checked on his pack mates in awhile.

He was on day five of his virtual lockdown when Bucky came to visit for the first time. Friday didn't announce him, she just opened the door and let Bucky in, so Tony didn't notice him until Bucky set the plate down on the bench next to him with a solid sound. Tony blinked over at him, not understanding for a long tired moment.

It wasn't much, a hastily made sandwich neatly cut into quarters and a pile of kettle chips, but Tony realized as soon as he saw it that he hadn't actually eaten since... well, he'd eaten _something_ today. Maybe.

"Thanks, Tasty Freeze! I guess I got a little lost down here. There's so much to do though, and there aren't enough hours in the day." Tony ducked his head and rubbed at the back of his neck.

"Yeah, noticed that. Stevie set up a team movie night, it was a shame you didn't show up. It was nice, having almost everyone together like that." Bucky said, leaning over to brace one hip against the bench, arms crossed in front of him. Tony picked up the sandwich and appraised it before taking a bite. It was good, and once he’d taken that first bite he was starving.

"What'd you guys watch?" Tony said, after swallowing. Bucky half shrugged and smiled softly.

"Don't remember. It had a spaceship, and an alien with acid blood, and one very badass dame." Bucky said. Tony took another big bite because the sandwich was _good_. "It was pretty good, the dark and the quiet made it easier, being in the room with... you know, _everybody_. Don't like crowds very much lately." Tony nodded, as he finished off the sandwich quarter.

The silence that stretched out after that was more comfortable than Tony liked. Bucky seemed content enough to watch him eat, which made Tony shift uncomfortably. He didn't like eating in front of people, and Bucky's narrow-minded focus was unnerving. Bucky had to have better things to do than stand here and watch him, but Bucky wasn't doing those things. He was here, doing this.

Once the sandwich was gone, and most of the chips, Bucky migrated away from the table and settled on the couch with his tablet. Tony watched him out of the corner of his eye while he worked, but Bucky just curled up — a shop blanket tucked around him — and read. He didn't know how long they stayed like that, but eventually, Steve came down, and Bucky went upstairs to bed. They both said goodnight on the way out, and Tony thanked Bucky for the sandwich again.

The odd feeling stayed with him for the rest of the night, a mix of warmth and confusion that swelled in him every time he saw the plate sitting on the table next to him until he finally went up to bed himself sometime around dawn.

* * *

Tony kept busy like that for a few weeks. It was like old times, kind of. It was good enough, like the time after New York when the team was just getting started. They'd stop by, sometimes. Natasha would bring him lunch or Steve would drop off a sketch he'd done. Tony tacked those up on the wall, over by the couch.

Bucky came down in the evening every few days, usually with food and some small question or observation. They talked about books sometimes because Bucky was reading so fast now, burning through the library like it was his job. Sometimes it was old, beaten up paperbacks, but mostly it was the tablet. It was satisfying to see Bucky using something Tony had given him, he carried it with him pretty much everywhere in the compound.

Bucky started training with the team, too. Now that the Avengers were getting big, a little unwieldy, they trained in groups. Bucky seemed to like it well enough, but he didn't want to talk about it. That was fine, Tony didn't find running laps and play-fighting or whatever all that interesting when _he_ had to do it, and listening to someone else complain about it wasn't any better. They had better things to talk about.

He still built equipment for Bucky, even if he didn’t bring it up with him. If Bucky had decided to train with the team, the chance of Steve eventually talking him into one of the easy field missions was probably pretty high. Tony knew it probably wouldn’t happen _tomorrow_ but he needed to get ready for it anyway. He also pulled up all the information Shuri had sent on Bucky’s deprogramming since he’d brought that up. As far as he could tell, it should have worked, but they hadn’t tested it yet. Tony made a note to talk to him about that at some point, when he was more ready to go out into the field, and looked into a few things that might make him feel better about it too.

Then Tony found it, sifting through the indexed data they'd been pulling from every Hydra base they'd hit. No one mentioned this base explicitly, there were no real descriptions, so Tony had to piece things together from troop movements and equipment transfer forms and power usage, a pile of almost innocuous information that pointed to something secret and — knowing Hydra — probably something nefarious.

Carol took the information and met with the council to get proper permissions. From what Tony could tell, the base was in northern Alaska, and it took him a while to get the pieces all together. To find an exact location. The building itself was bigger than most of the others, and from the satellites and GPR stealth drones he flew by, the facility went at least a few floors under ground. The layout seemed standard, from the limited reconnaissance he could do. It seemed like a cut and dried mission, maybe on a larger scale than they'd seen before, but it shouldn't be that much more complicated, right?

* * *

Steve looked smug, heading into the briefing, and Tony bristled at the expression. He bristled because he _knew_ that expression. That was Steve’s _I have won this battle of the wills_ expression. They may have been on good terms now, Tony might even consider Steve a friend, but Tony had still been conditioned to _hate_ that expression.

He had reason to when Bucky showed up, looking tired and nervous, hovering near the door. Even when he sat in the command center with Tony, Bucky didn’t come to the briefing first. Tony ran him through things down there, because Bucky didn’t like crowds and the briefing room was always crowded. That would be doubly true today because Carol wanted all hands on deck for this one.

“Hey Steve,” Tony said, as Steve flopped into the chair next to him. “What’s got you all chipper this afternoon?” Steve _beamed_ at him.

“Bucky’s coming out with us today!” Steve said, glancing back at Bucky, who was talking to Nat by the door, shifting on his feet.

“ _What?_ ” Tony hissed, and Captain Oblivious just nodded, clearly mistaking Tony’s disbelief for a positive thing.

“I know! He’s healing, Tony. He’s getting better!” Steve said softly. “He’s still nervous but he’s trying.”

“Is he really ready for that, Steve? It’s not too fast?” Tony kept his tone carefully neutral, but his mind was spinning, because Bucky was _not_ ready. Bucky’s equipment wasn’t even ready yet. Bucky edged towards them, and slid into the chair on Tony’s other side, right next to the wall. “You sure you’re up for this, Buckaroo? Because you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” Bucky opened his mouth, but Steve spoke first.

“That’s sweet, Tony. Bucky is gonna be fine, don’t worry.” Steve said, earnest sincerity oozing off every word. “He’ll have the whole team behind him, we’ll be there. Don’t worry.”

Bucky ducked his head. Tony reached over without really thinking, and squeezed a hand over Bucky’s on the armrest. Bucky smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes when he looked back up.

“I’ll be fine, Tony.” Bucky sounded more sure than he looked. “I’m nervous and all, but I’ve been through worse. I can do it this once, then I’ll be back on the bench for a while. And Stevie will be right there with me. I guess you’ll have the command station all to yourself this time, huh? It makes it easier, knowing you’ve got our backs, right?”

Tony wanted to argue. He knew if he went to Rhodey or Carol he could get Bucky benched again. He _wanted_ to. He didn’t.

Bucky could make his own decisions, and Steve would have his back. His mate would be there to look after him. That had to be enough.

* * *

Tony absolutely didn't like this, but he settled into the command center anyway. He pulled up a new project and started in on the body armor for Bucky. If he was going to be out in the field — against everyone's better judgement — then Tony was going to make sure he was as safe as he could be out there. Yeah, the Winter Soldier gear he'd come in with was repaired — Tony had done that himself, he knew it was good work — but they could do _better_ than that, and Tony was going to make that happen.

And yeah, there was bitterness there. Steve wanted Bucky out there, in the field, and he'd gotten that. Tony had rolled over and _given_ it to him, even though it was objectively a bad idea. It wasn't much of a consolation that Bucky had said _just this once_. Bucky shouldn't be out there at all, especially not if Tony stayed behind. If it really was all hands on deck, then Tony should be out there too.

But Tony wasn't going to tell Bucky no. Bucky could make his own decisions, and Tony was going to respect them. If he ordered comfort food tonight, maybe that steakhouse with the great burgers and the homemade mac and cheese, that was fine. Maybe he'd get cake too, from the bakery a few towns over, the one that did New York cheesecake with the caramel on the bottom.

He was flicking through the menu on his phone, trying to decide how many would be too many, when the alarm pinged. Tony dropped the phone like it was on fire, and slid back to the command station in a heartbeat, but it took him a moment to make sense of the chaos.

" _Captain America, I repeat, please state your location._ " Carol sounded a little bit off like the stress was getting to her. Tony found Steve on the base map, the tracker in his comm unit still pinging loud and clear. Bucky was there too, right next to him, but none of the others were close.

"Captain, uh, Danvers, I have a location on Cap, he's in the fifth room down the hall on the fourth floor down. His vitals are stable," Tony said, flipping through the visual feeds, looking for Cap's or Bucky's. It took him a few cycles to find them. The room was full of Hydra soldiers, and more than one of them were decidedly not the badly trained foot soldiers they were used to dealing with. Tony cursed silently, not wanting to break into the comm chatter for that.

"Cap and the Soldier are pinned down, there's maybe 15, 20 of them, not all grunts." Tony recited, "seems like they might have some heavy weaponry, from what I can see."

Then Tony froze, because one of the officer-looking goons was pushing forwards from the back of the formation, and he had a familiar-looking red book in his hand. Steve had sounded absolutely sure that the programming was gone, that they'd managed to break it while they were in hiding, but Bucky hadn't seemed so sure about it. Bucky said they'd never actually tested it.

Tony could tell the moment that Bucky saw the guy, because the readouts of his vitals on the edge of the screen went haywire, and Friday tripped an automatic alarm. Tony's own heart jumped and hammered in sympathy.

"Team, I need anyone who can to head to Cap and the Soldier's location. There's trouble, I need someone to respond. They need backup." Tony almost yelled, even though he wasn't in charge here. He didn't use the Alpha voice, not that it would have helped much, but it was a close thing.

" _We're heading to their location now. We're up on the second floor down, it might take a moment, but we're moving._ " Sam said, but Tony could hear gunfire through the comms, and he took a deep, steadying breath. That wouldn't be _fast_ enough. Tony wanted to run, jump in the suit, go after them himself, but he knew that that was a horrible idea. He felt useless sitting here in the compound though, alone and safe, while his pack was out there taking fire. He gritted his teeth and stared at the feed from Cap's camera.

The Hydra officer was monologuing, but the comms didn't pick up any of it. He was waving the book around, and someone, probably Bucky was returning fire. The goons around him, all heavily armored, were making a decent shield though, and none of the bullets hit home.

Tony waited, not breathing, but the moment the asshole opened the book and started reading, he had to do _something_. Whether the programming was still in there or not, Bucky's brain was going haywire. It could be panic, but Tony wasn't going to take the chance. He took a deep shaking breath and silently asked for forgiveness.

"Team, we need immediate support to Cap and the Soldier's location. Falcon, hurry it up." Tony barked.

“Boss, the Sargent’s vitals are not stable,” Friday said, smoothly, through Tony’s headset. “Requesting permission to activate secondary protocols.” Tony huffed, then flipped a switch, and silenced his mic.

"Friday honey, override code Stark Delta-Delta-Victor-4-7-2-Alpha, on Bucky please." Tony croaked out, teeth clenched. The tasers weren’t really meant for this, they were meant for mind control. Okay, so maybe this was kind of what they were meant for, but Tony hated it. "Three pulses, half a second apart, repeat if his brainwaves don't settle."

Bucky was enhanced, he’d be fine. And there would be support on the way, right? Someone was on their way to help.

Everything was still for a moment, and he squeezed his eyes shut, miserable. Then the alarm on Bucky's vitals spiked and went silent. He watched as the spikes leveled out. Bucky's camera was still, very still, and Tony froze. He watched as Cap went down, something hit him and his camera spasmed, then moved slowly, then went still as well.

Tony's heart stopped. He knew their vitals were stable, he knew both of them were still alive, but the stillness was terrifying. They weren't _moving_. There was an explosion of movement at the front of the room, and he could see Falcon now, and half of the Hydra goons were down or gone or something, but neither one of them was moving.

Then Bucky seemed to wake up, he rose, turned his head towards Cap, who was very, _very_ still. Bucky's heartbeat rose, as he struggled to roll onto his knees. Tony fumbled the toggles but managed to flip the right switch.

"He's fine, Buckaroo." Tony's voice wasn't as stable and soothing as he thought it should be. "I can see his pulse, his respiration, all up here on the monitor, and Steve is _fine_. Whatever they did, it was probably just a sedative." Bucky made a noise, not quite a word, but he stopped moving towards Cap, and he stumbled to his feet instead. Tony cycled through the rest of the feeds quickly, there were a few knots of fighting, but everyone seemed like they were holding their own up there so he moved past it.

When he got back to Bucky and Cap, Sam at their side now, he felt a bit better. Steve wasn't moving, but they were holding their own, and the little zap had worked perfectly. Well, Tony would have appreciated if it hadn't taken Bucky down for a moment, but it seemed okay now.

Then, right when Tony was glancing down to grab a water bottle from the mini-fridge, it very suddenly wasn't. He heard an explosion, and then Bucky yelling something that peaked the mic to shit, and Cap's feed was just _gone_. Steve's vitals were okay, but Bucky's were going wild, and Tony looked back just in time to see Bucky take the hit. It looked like the bullet entered through the shoulder, but it was very close to his neck, and the blast knocked him off his feet backward. Sam wasn't in the room anymore, and Tony couldn't make his throat work to talk to the team.

Then everything went dark. The screens all flickered to static snow and then darkness.

Sometimes, when Tony was having a panic attack, it was like he could still feel the arc reactor in his chest. It was like he could _feel it_ , the cold metal shaft sunk through his sternum and rearranging his organs to make room. His heart stuttered, and his lungs couldn’t inflate all the way, and there was nothing he could do but hope he could ride it out.

Losing contact with the team felt like that, the sudden cold realization that there was nothing he could do to fix this.

He wanted to climb into the suit, to fly out there to the rescue. _His pack_ was out there, and he didn’t know what was going on. He wanted to ask Friday to search for the signal, scan frequencies, find _something_. His throat wasn’t working though, it was all he could do to keep breathing through it.

He didn't know how long it took before Friday reconnected with the back-up comms. Carol was barking orders, and Tony could hear fighting in the background. There wasn't any video, and Tony was only getting very limited location and biometric data. It was far from ideal, but Tony pulled up an interface in front of him and got to work doing what he could. He had a basic idea of the base's layout, so mapping the team's location was feasible. Not easy, but definitely feasible.

He labeled and populated each team member's data stream one by one. Bucky was first because it quieted something in him to see that on the screen. Sam and Nat were both nearby, but not within sight of him. Steve was...

Tony double-checked. Tony cleared the model and started over, keeping half of his attention on the comms, waiting to hear Steve's voice in there. It filtered out the same way the second time. Steve wasn't _there_.

"Team, does anyone have eyes on Cap?" Tony asked, carefully modulating his tone.

The chorus of _No_ s from the team wasn't promising.

"Can you give me a location, Iron Man? Who's the closest?" Carol bit out, slightly out of breath and clearly occupied with whatever was going on.

"No can do, Captain Danvers," Tony said, fingers flying through the interface, trying to find another data packet in the incoming stream. There just _wasn't_ anything coming from Steve. "I'm having issues with the data, something interrupted the flow for a moment. I still don't have video or primary comm signal, and I'm down to basic position data. I'm not getting anything from Cap though, it's like he's not _there_."

"They have him," Bucky said, strained like he was running. Tony _froze_. "Hydra, they shot him with something, and he's down. I'm on their tail, but it seems like they're headed upstairs."

Then there was the rush of static, creeping to a crescendo. Tony fiddled with the band, trying to bring the signal back in, but it didn't do any good. Tony cursed and gave himself a moment to just scream, head buried in his hands as he hunched over his lap. It released some of the tension, but there was more rushing in to take its place almost immediately.

He could hear voices, but he couldn't identify who was who and he definitely couldn't understand what was being said. He kept adjusting it, trying to pinpoint the comms frequency again.

"-no, you can't-" The static ebbed, then spiked again, but Tony could make out some words.

"-nd down, Soldier-" Carol's voice came through, choppy and disjointed. "-s east side, Falcon, can y-" It dipped and swelled, spitting out snatches of the conversation.

"-nt, on your left. Just do-" Sam, for a moment, then...

"-n make it, just h-" Bucky sounded desperate, and Tony hated this. This was awful. Bucky shouldn't be _out there_ , and now he was coming apart in the field. Tony's fingers twitched, itching to _help_.

He needed to stay though, he knew that. Friday was good, but Tony was better. He needed to locate Steve’s feed.

“ _Barnes!_ ” Natasha yelled, peaking on the audio feed hard enough that Tony flinched. He flipped through the audio bands with one hand, and combed through the data stream with the other, still searching because that was all he _could_ do right then. His last best hope was running a hard reset on the system, but that would shut down all of the comms equipment and trackers while everything rebooted, so he couldn't do that until after the team was clear.

“-ys on the Soldier? Anyone?” Carol called, alpha strong in her voice. Tony held on to that. He _had_ to.

“-ve got it. I’m on-“ Tony couldn’t identify the voice. The static was getting worse, it spat and popped, and Tony heard voices, possibly gunfire, and the chopping roar of a helicopter. He couldn't understand any of the words.

There was something that sounded like cursing, then orders -- Tony could hear the alpha command in the tone, but he couldn't make out what they were saying -- and then an explosion. It wasn't close to anyone on the team, at least anyone with a comm open.

Then nothing but static for a long minute. Tony’s heart hammered in his chest, but he waited.

“-n Man! I repeat Iron Man, do you read us?” The signal was weak when he caught it again. Friday boosted it as much as she could.

“Yeah, I can hear you, team. There’s interference but I can hear you.” Tony said, slow and careful.

“Alright. We’re heading back to you to regroup. We have injuries.” Carol said, mostly legible through the static. “I’m closing the channel now. We’ll be back in three hours, We’ll radio you if the situation changes.” She sounded tired, and Tony wanted to ask about Steve but he didn’t. He knew Steve wasn’t in that jet. He just hoped, selfishly, that Bucky was.

* * *

The first thing Tony did when Carol cut the comms was to reboot the system. If he was following protocol he should have waited until the team was back at the compound but he just couldn’t.

It took one of those long hours for Friday to rebuild and reindex the data streams one by one. Tony felt some of the tension bleed out of him when the interface came back online. He still had limited data, basic vital signs, but he had location. He could see the team on the jet moving back towards the compound.

Tony’s heart skipped a beat then because there was Steve’s signal. His hands shook as he pulled the data apart on the holo screen, hand populating it into something he could see. It wasn’t everything, but he could see Steve’s basic biometrics again. His vitals were low but steady, like he was sleeping. Sedated probably, but definitely not dead and not terrified in a cell somewhere either. Tony took a second to be profoundly grateful for that fact.

There was location data too, but since he wasn’t on the jet with the others it was broad at first. Friday was already working on triangulating a more precise location though before Tony had even thought to ask. By the time the jet landed, he should have an exact location.

For now, he pushed back from the desk and let himself breathe for a moment. He’d get back to work soon, start preparing to receive the team, to assess the damage, and plan the rescue mission to come. But at this moment, he watched the screen, watched the evidence that his pack was all alive and maybe not well, but definitely okay. It would be enough for the moment.

* * *

Tony had showered and changed by the time the quinjet landed. He was there, waiting as the team disembarked, along with medical staff. Everyone who stepped off of the jet looked grim, and Carol nodded to him as she approached.

“I found him. I got a lock on Steve’s location when I rebooted the comms system. I got vitals as well. Only the basics, but he’s stable and probably sedated. Whatever they’re planning they haven’t started it yet.” Tony said it like a mission report. Carol smiled, exhausted but hopeful.

“Good. We’ll need some time to recover and regroup. Then we’ll head back out. Keep us in the loop if you have anything more.” Carol said, “For now, can you do me a favor and help get Barnes to stay in medical? He’s going through some stuff, it’s been rough.”

Tony did not need to be asked twice. When he made it up the steps into the plane, Sam was trying to get Bucky into a wheelchair. As soon as they caught sight of Tony, Sam rolled his eyes and muttered _oh thank god_ , and Bucky tensed and looked down at the floor.

“Hey, Buckaroo,” Tony said. His grin was lopsided but still there. “I found Steve, Friday’s working out the exact location now, so we’ll have it when we’re ready to get back out there.”

Bucky stumbled a bit when he stood, and he ended up sprawling, pushing Tony against the wall and wrapping his arms around Tony’s neck. Tony hugged him and buried his face in Bucky’s neck in return. He nuzzled his nose against Bucky’s scent gland and shivered as he felt Bucky’s breath against his own. He focused on the calm relief he felt, holding Bucky close, here, _safe_.

“When are we leaving? It takes, what, twenty minutes to refuel the jet? I need ammo, maybe a close-range weapon.” Bucky was rambling, muffled by Tony’s neck. “I can be back in ten minutes maybe. I just-“

Tony shushed him.

“Bucky, no. You’re going to medical, you have to heal for a bit before we can go back out, okay? Steve is stable, wherever he is. Friday is monitoring his condition.” Tony said, level and calm. “We’re going to medical and then we’ll go save Steve when you’re cleared for it. You heal quickly, it’ll be fine.”

Bucky twitched against him, breathed in against Tony’s neck. Tony slid a hand through Bucky’s hair.

“Nope.” Tony said, cutting the refusal off at the pass, “Steve is a big boy. He’s survived a lot and he’ll survive this too. _And_ don’t think about getting selfish here, because he will murder me _dead_ if I let you out in the field injured to save him. So we’re going to medical.”

Bucky pulled back and opened his mouth to argue. Tony put two fingers up, right against Bucky’s lips and shushed him again. Bucky relented, but Tony stayed with him until they were settled into an exam room in medical. Then he sat in the chair beside the bed and kept watch until Bucky fell asleep.

* * *

The time between landing and takeoff went by quickly, more quickly than Tony thought possible really. Tony had a lot to do, between making sure Bucky stayed in medical and getting ready for the mission. He was absolutely prepared to leave without Bucky if he needed to. He couldn’t let Bucky go back out into the field injured, he just couldn’t. Yeah, he was sure Steve would be angry if he did, but that had mostly been an excuse.

Bucky shouldn’t be out in the field at all if Tony made the rules. Bucky had said it himself, he didn’t want to fight, so he shouldn’t have to. They’d done fine without him before, they’d do fine without him now. But Tony also knew how much it would hurt Bucky, if they left him behind, so it was mostly just an idle fantasy.

Carol and Rhodey were cloistered in the briefing room. Tony had seen them pouring over holographic maps and all the data Friday could find them about the base when he’d brought them food and coffee earlier. Old Tony would have stayed there, argued and planned and pushed along with them. New Tony had other things to worry about.

He stopped by medical and looked in on Bucky, but he was asleep, the IV drip still in his arm.

Sam and Nat had been in medical for an hour or two, but they’d been released. Sam was downstairs with Wanda and Scott now, resting and eating. Nat was upstairs, in her room, but Friday said she was resting so Tony resisted the urge to go bother her. She’d seemed fine when she left medical, the doctors had cleared her and she'd managed a grim smile when Tony had stopped to fuss.

He stopped by medical and looked in on Bucky, who was sitting up and eating some sort of pasta dish. Bucky smiled while he chewed, and he still looked exhausted and haunted and miserable, but he brightened a little when Tony came to sit by his bed for a bit.

Tony checked over everyone’s gear as well, carefully collected as they filed off of the jet. There were a few emergency fixes he could make, and some notes for future upgrades. He kept it to the essentials for now though, because they needed to move quickly. He made sure to test everything before he let it go, and delivered each piece back to the jet. He made sure everything was ready and waiting for them when they took off again.

He stopped by medical and ducked in to see Bucky. He was staring out the window this time, blankly, into the bright afternoon. The window overlooked the training field and the tree line in the distance. It was silent and empty at the moment, except for a few squirrels. Tony hung in the doorway and watched for a long moment, his heart aching.

“We’ll get him. Everything will be fine, Bucky, I promise.” Tony said. He knew that it was kind of a bullshit thing to promise. He absolutely believed that they’d find Steve before anything too terrible could happen to him, but he couldn’t guarantee it. Bucky had to know that too, but he seemed to appreciate the effort. Bucky relaxed a little, and even offered a lopsided smile that almost reached his eyes. Tony stepped inside and dropped the unwieldy armful of dark fabric onto the end of Bucky’s bed.

“The doctors said it was fine for you to get up. If you’re feeling up to it.” Tony rambled, “I, uh, I brought something. If you’re feeling up to it, you could maybe try these on for me? I made some adjustments, based on the armor and stuff you had before. It’s just a little more high tech, should have a better range of movement than the other stuff, and the kevlar and ceramic fibers should provide a bit more protection.”

Bucky swung his legs over the edge of the bed, long and bare under the loose shirt. It wasn’t quite as thin and flimsy as a hospital gown, because Tony hated those and wouldn’t allow them in the compound, but it still only came down to about mid-thigh, which left most of Bucky’s absolutely gorgeous and toned legs naked. Tony swallowed and pointedly looked out the window while Bucky pulled on the undersuit and the armor.

“I, uh, I put two full sleeves on this one. Let me know if it’s restrictive on the arm, it shouldn’t be but we haven’t exactly tested it out. I figured, just because one of them is really awesome and metal doesn’t mean it should be hanging out like a target. It’s a terrifying and totally badass look, don’t get me wrong, but it seems silly. This just seems more stealthy, you know? Not to mention, I’d hate to see that gorgeous arm get all dinged up out there if we can avoid it.” Tony said, staring out the window pointedly and trying not to follow Bucky’s reflection in the glass while he dressed himself. “I mean, if you’re attached to the look, we can make it work. This is just a prototype, really, something I’ve had Friday fabricating in the background. But I thought I might get you to try it on. We might have time to make changes before we go back out if you tell me now.”

Bucky stepped up next to him, rolling his shoulders and grinning a bit more widely now. Tony turned his head, and couldn’t help but smile back.

“It’s fine, Tony,” Bucky said, voice gravelly and deep again, rough. Tony shivered at the sound. “Really. It’s great. I’m not feeling any hitches or even any tightness. The plates seem to work fine under there, too. The old arm, the Hydra arm, it got caught on everything.” Bucky slid in closer, and Tony could feel his warmth, even through the inch or two of air and the armor between them. Bucky was always so warm. “I never did thank you for getting rid of it for me.”

Bucky said it with a lopsided smile, but his eyes were warm enough now that Tony knew he was teasing. Siberia seemed like ages ago now. It was hard to even remember it, and everything seemed kind of petty with the benefit of hindsight. Tony returned the smile, and threw an arm around Bucky’s back, pulled him into a one-armed hug. It worked just like it always seemed to now. Both of them relaxed into it.

* * *

It was edging into evening and the sun was starting to set when they took off. Rhodey and Carol were still talking quietly, Carol in the pilot’s chair and Nat beside her. They clearly had a loose plan, what they knew about the base’s layout displayed in hologram form in the center of the jet’s hold. They hadn’t shared much though.

Tony had insisted on coming along this time, and he was already encased in the armor, with the faceplate up. Normally, he would fly alongside the jet at a time like this, maybe scout ahead, but he was inside instead, sitting next to a silent and eerily distant looking Bucky. He sat in silence for as long as he could stand to, but silence and Tony Stark weren’t very good friends.

“Are you sure you’re up for this, Buckaroo? Because you can totally wait with the jet if you need to.” Tony offered and leaned forwards in his seat. “You’ll be there if we need you, but I think we can get in and out without you. Just an option.”

Bucky shook his head, the movement mechanical and slow. Tony hated it.

“Alright, so you’re coming in then. What’s the plan? What are you going to do in the field?” Tony asked, more for something to say than anything else. “I mean, I’ve never even trained with you. I don’t know what your _thing_ is, in the field.”

Bucky shrugged, and eyes fixed on the floor.

“I would take orders. I will wait for the Captain to tell me what to do.” Bucky said, distant. Tony clenched his teeth.

“Yeah, but if you could do whatever you wanted, what would your role be?” Tony asked, “I don’t even really know your strengths, in the field.”

“If I was planning it, I’d say we split up, we can cover more ground that way, split the forces.” Bucky sounded flat, like he was reading something, “Captain Danvers, War Machine, and Vision can fly, and they’re _flashy_ when they want to be, so I’d have them on the outside, as a distraction. Each one takes a team, each team converges on different ends of the compound. That’s the push in, get Hydra building up their defenses there.

“They tend to just throw bodies at the problem, but having flight is an advantage. It would give each team some distance cover. Hydra’s focused on the obvious push, and not on their other defenses. If they get the opportunity, I’d have those teams focused on any obvious transport capabilities. If they can take out aircraft and motor vehicles, the battle will stay contained in the base itself for the most part.

“I’d put you on the actual push, coming in the back. I know you can be stealthy when you need to be, and you have the HUD with Steve’s location. They also wouldn’t expect you, you normally hang back at base. Naturally, you can probably get straight to him fastest. I’d cover you, I’m probably the stealthiest member of the field team, maybe barring Natasha, but I definitely know Hydra tactics better.

“We go in, get Steve, and get back out. They’ll probably leave a guard or two, but I can take them down easily. Hydra tends to have too much faith in their own abilities, so unless they think we’ve gotten inside, which they won’t because the teams outside aren’t actually trying to get in very hard, they’ll be complacent.

“On our way out, we plant explosives as we go. Structural elements like stairwells and support beams, so that once we’re clear we can blow the base, and the collapse will take care of almost everything we miss. We get Steve back in the jet, with the ground crew, and the fliers can cover the jet. We could regroup somewhere nearby if necessary, or take Steve back to medical immediately if he needs it. Vitals seem stable enough though, he’d probably stay stable until whatever this is works its way out of his system.”

Bucky kept his eyes on the floor through the whole speech, and his voice never wavered. Tony wanted to hug him, promise him they’d fix this, but he was still in the armor. Besides, Bucky _could_ take care of himself, and as long as Tony was beside him he’d have someone to cover his blindspots this time.

“That sounds great, Barnes.” Carol was leaning forwards, arms on her knees. She’d been listening that whole time. Bucky nodded and did another little half-shrug with his flesh shoulder. “We’ll go with that. It seems logical, well planned out. You really do have an eye for strategy, Sargent.”

Tony grinned, and nudged Bucky lightly with his shoulder, careful to modulate the armor’s strength. Bucky just ducked his head, but Tony caught the just the edge of a not-quite smile. That was a good sign. They could do this.

* * *

The plan worked great. Bucky cut a path through the few Hydra guards they ran across on the way in, and Tony guided them to where Steve was being held. Bucky’s relieved face when they found Steve was worth all of it.

Steve was drugged, so out of it that he couldn’t walk, but Tony could carry him fine, in the armor. That left Bucky the only one who could really fight on their way back out, but that was fine. Bucky was terrifyingly competent with the gun, and Tony felt a lot about that. It was a relief that Bucky could take care of himself. Yeah, he _knew_ that, but it was something else to _see_ it in action. It was inappropriately attractive.

They didn’t start to run into problems until they were almost out again. The Hydra team they ran across wasn’t expecting them, but they still sprung into action, shouting into their own comms, and the element of surprise was gone. Tony couldn’t do much to help, with his arms full of a comatose Steve, but Bucky didn’t need his help.

They’d almost cleared the goons they were fighting with when the officer showed up, still wearing his stupid hat and perfectly pressed dress uniform. It was kind of amusing, watching this guy out here cosplaying a soldier, up until he pulled out a familiar red book. Tony’s heart skipped a beat, and he adjusted his hold on Steve, preparing to drop him and defend Bucky if needed.

It wasn’t needed. Bucky shot the officer cleanly through his forehead and went right back to beating back the goon in front of them. He did take a moment to scoop the book up and tuck it into the back of his vest before they moved.

Things were worse once they broke outside, not bothering to attempt to sneak at this point. Rhodey was the closest to them, and his team broke off to cover them as soon as they emerged from the base. This was Hydra’s greatest strength though, the number of bodies they could throw at any problem, each and every one ready to die for the cause. The Hydra wave of Hydra goons that had been defending the building from the avengers on the outside split, turning to face Tony and Bucky as they caught them from behind. Tony charged straight up the middle.

“About time,” Rhodey said over the comms, as he swooped down to hold back the left flank, while Bucky took the right. The crowd parted, scrambling back. Tony nodded to Rhodey as he kicked on the repulsors. Flying with a burden like Steve Rogers — who was ridiculously broad and thick and hard to hold on to, especially when he was limp dead weight — wasn’t easy, but Tony would have to manage it for a bit, at least until he could drop Steve off at the jet.

“Hey, we were right on time, Platypus. You can’t rush greatness.” Tony said as he took off, shifting Steve to one arm so he could balance himself a little better. Bullets pinged off of the armor from below, and he swerved, trying to avoid letting unconscious Steve get hit. “Do you think you can come airlift the Winter Smolder over here? My hands are a little full at the moment.”

“On it, Iron Man,” Rhodey answered, swooping in behind. Tony didn’t look behind him, though he did send off a quick repulsor blast at the right flank as he flew upwards.

“Great.” Tony said, “Race you to the jet?” Rhodey made an exasperated noise, and Tony didn’t wait for confirmation as he climbed.

The flight over wasn’t difficult, even if they did have to fly a few evasive maneuvers. Hydra always seemed to believe in quantity over quality, and the goons that were manning this entrance were definitely not expert marksmen. They made it to the jet without much trouble, and Natasha started the engines as soon as Tony touched down. She was out of the pilot’s chair within moments, and she helped Tony strap Steve into one of the seats.

“Team, the eagle has landed, and we’re ready to go.” Tony said over the comms, “I’ve _always_ wanted to say that, but I never had the chance before now. I’d say this was a pretty good day, all things told.” Natasha rolled her eyes, and Tony turned to rejoin the fray outside.

“Got it, Iron Man.” Carol said, “Widow, take him back to the compound. We have another jet incoming for evac, but getting Cap back to base is priority one.”

Bucky stood beside Tony, at the entrance to the jet, as they looked back over the fight. It was still going, and Hydra was pushing steadily towards them. The fight wasn’t over yet.

“Listen, Buck, keep an eye on Steve for me,” Tony said, eyes glued to the battle in front of them.

Bucky opened his mouth to argue, but Tony flipped the faceplate up so he could look into Bucky’s face, wide slate blue eyes looking back at him intensely.

“Look after him, please. Make sure he gets back okay. Keep him safe until we get back.” Tony knew that the minute they landed at the compound, everything would be fine. The drugs or whatever this was would clear Steve’s system, and he’d be fine again in time. He just needed Bucky to stay safe there with him until Tony got back. “Please.”

Bucky nodded, solemn and half desperate. He clearly didn’t want to walk away, but he was going to. Tony smiled and nodded back. He slid the faceplate closed again and the hatch on the jet slid closed as well. Tony turned back towards the fight and didn’t watch the jet take off.

* * *

The fight hadn’t been difficult. Once Steve was gone Hydra didn’t seem too keen on pushing through them anymore. They managed to hijack a helicopter and retreat to a safe distance, where they could meet up with a backup plane, somewhere just past midnight.

Tony didn’t relax until he was back at the compound though. He didn’t relax until he was out of the armor, and up in the medical wing. He didn’t relax until he’d pushed open the door, and laid eyes on an exhausted and half frantic looking Bucky perched on an uncomfortable-looking chair next to Steve’s hospital bed.

Friday had given him the rundown on the way back. Steve would be fine, the sedatives were heavy-duty but they were also working their way out of his system now. He’d woken up once or twice, but he wasn’t quite lucid, and all the doctors could really do was keep Steve hydrated and comfortable while his super-soldier metabolism did the rest.

Bucky’s eyes snapped up to him as soon as he pushed the door open, and he made it a single step inside before Bucky was on his feet and across the room. Bucky checked him over quickly, fingers brushed over a bruise on his shoulder, where the stretched collar of his shirt had slipped down. Tony opened his mouth to ask about Steve, maybe make some reassurances.

Bucky pulled him close before he could, hugging him tightly. He buried his face against Tony’s neck and nuzzled into Tony’s scent gland again, all on his own. It was _amazing_ , and Tony let himself have this. It might not last long, but he felt like maybe they both needed the comfort. It seemed to cut the sour distress from Bucky’s scent at least.

Then Bucky started to _purr_ , tucked in against Tony’s neck. Tony twisted his hands in the back of Bucky’s shirt.

“Oh god, get a room, you guys.” Steve croaked from beside them, “Like a _different_ room, this one’s mine.”

Bucky pulled back just enough to grin down at him, but he held on to Tony like a lifeline. Tony gaped and tried to take a step back but Bucky held him in place.

“Hey Steve, it’s not, I mean-” Tony started, as he tried to twist away again. Neither one of them were having it though. Bucky held tight and Steve interrupted him.

“Nope. You _both_ need to go somewhere else, your pining is stinking up the place. I need peace and quiet, for healing.” Steve grumbled quietly, pulling the thin blanket up further. “So skedaddle punks, and let me get some sleep.”

Tony didn’t know what to say to that and Bucky wasn’t giving him any clues. When Tony stepped over towards the door, Bucky let him. He kept a hold on Tony’s arm though and followed him closely.

“Okay, well, we’ve got the mission debrief to go to. I guess we’ll see you later Steve?” Tony said, and Steve firmly pretended to be asleep, the twitch of a smile at the corner of his mouth the only thing that ruined the illusion.

Bucky stayed close through the hallway, but he didn’t quite touch Tony again until they were settled into the briefing room. Tony took his usual chair by the door, and Bucky sat next to him, one hand on his arm as everyone else filtered in.

Bucky looked exhausted still, but not haunted the way he had. He looked _content_. It was nice, and Tony couldn’t blame him. He was feeling a lot better now too, with his pack home and whole again. It was good.

He watched Bucky out of the corner of his eye until Carol called the meeting to order. It hadn’t been loud before, but everyone went silent at that. They were all ready to go to bed at this point, the rising sun just barely tinting the edges of the sky.

“Great work, everyone. Especially you, Barnes. Good planning. I think, when you’re ready, we could definitely use that.” Carol said, tired but still bright. “Maybe you can join Stark down in mission control officially. When you’re ready.”

Bucky flushed and ducked his head, the hand that wasn’t latched on to Tony’s arm came up to rub at the back of his neck. Tony couldn’t help but grin back at him.

* * *

They didn’t split off, after the debrief. Tony headed back towards his room, but he stopped on the skywalk. The corridor was lined with windows, and the view of the courtyard garden was pretty as the sun started to rise. Tony stopped to look, and Bucky edged in next to him, one arm wrapped around Tony’s shoulders. Bucky muffled a yawn in his shoulder and Tony smiled over at him. He caught sight of his reflection in the window and winced internally at the love-struck sappy look on his face. Tony scrubbed a hand over his face.

“Are you gonna go visit Steve again, before you go to bed?” Tony asked, and the guilt bubbled up in him again. He shouldn’t be indulging himself in this, it would only make it more difficult to let go when he had to. It would already be hard.

“Naw, I’m sure Ms.Friday will let us know if he needs anything. I think he just needs rest now.” Bucky said, staring out over the courtyard. Tony watched his reflection in the glass intently.

“You don’t wanna go keep an eye on your mate?” Tony asked, quiet and almost breathless. His heart skipped in his chest. Bucky just looked confused.

“We’re not mates, Tony. I don’t have a mate yet.” Bucky said, careful and flat. Tony turned to stare at him, eyes wide.

“So you and Steve?” Tony asked trailing off. Bucky pulled a face.

“No, that’s gross,” Bucky said, though he was smiling. “I love him to death, but he’s a _terror_ , and I’m not _in love_ with him.”

Tony let that sink in, suddenly giddy and light. Bucky and Steve weren’t mates. They weren’t even together. It made him grin like an idiot.

“So, uh, you’re not boinking Cap. That’s interesting news, I may have jumped to a conclusion or two then.” Tony said, looking away from Bucky to stare at the fountain below. “You know, you don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to. You were great in the field, but you don’t have to do that again. If you’re not interested in being an avenger, you can leave.”

Tony offered it as an olive branch. Bucky considered it, but Tony carefully avoided looking back at him.

“I’ll do it,” Bucky said, serious. “I’ll go out there in the field if that’s what it takes. If that’s what you want. I’ll also _leave_ if that’s what you want Tony.”

Bucky shifted in place, drawing back a bit. Tony felt cold where they’d been pressed together.

“Is that what you want, Tony? Now that I’m not attached to Steve you want me to leave.” Bucky said it flat like it wasn’t really a question. Tony turned away from the window, eyes wide again.

“ _No_ , it’s not that cupcake.” Tony promised. “I want you here, but not if it isn’t what you want. You’re allowed to leave, though.”

“Do you want me out of the pack? Because I’ll do it if you want. But if going out there, joining the field team lets me stay…” Bucky trailed off.

“No. Bucky, sugar, you’re pack now. I can’t… look. The kids are in the pack, but they’re not out here all the time. You could live in the city, go back to school, figure out what you wanna do.” Tony didn’t look at Bucky while he spoke. He didn’t want to sway him. “I just… no, look, Buckaroo, I just want you to have options. You’re pack, and I want you to have the best life you can have, okay? I want you to be _happy_ sugar. That’s all.”

“But what do _you_ want, Tony?” Bucky asked, serious. Tony dropped his head, stared down at the floor.

“I want you to be happy, Bucky. I want you to do whatever makes you happy.” Tony felt exhausted as he said it, the last few days settling heavily on his shoulders. Bucky reached out and pulled him close again. He tilted Tony’s head up gently until their eyes met.

“And if this makes me happy?” Bucky said. He sounded sure, solid, but he looked vaguely terrified when Tony met his eyes. Tony swallowed.

“ _Whatever_ makes you happy, Cupcake,” Tony said, barely more than a whisper. He couldn’t look away, even as Bucky leaned forwards. Their lips brushed, open-mouthed but still chaste. Bucky looked at him pointedly afterward.

“And if this is what I want,” Bucky paused, and swallowed, “Alpha?”

Tony made a noise, a strangled something in the back of his throat as he turned. He pulled Bucky back in and kissed him properly this time. It was slow and warm, languid. They were both smiling when he pulled back, hand still cupped over the curve of Bucky’s jaw.

“Whatever makes you happy, sweetheart.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to anyone who got through this! comments, kudos, and concrit are always welcomed, and come yell at me on tunglr.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! Kudos, Comments, and Constructive criticism are always welcome, and come yell at me on tunglr, im @[ursweetheartless](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ursweetheartless)


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